My dad is dying and I can’t cope with it

My dad is 60 and I am 37. We are not the youngest or oldest to have these problems. 

He was diagnosed with a giant grapefruit size tumour of cancer on his liver a few months ago. We then met a specialist surgeon that said (in not these exact words mind)  that he could cut out that grapefruit and all our problems would be answered. Then yesterday he went in to do that very job and found it was much worse than he thought. Long story short nothing was cut out, there is nothing that can be done and my dad is dying.

now I’m in shock right now and trying to let this all sink in. My dad is the most important person in my life and the idea he won’t be here at some point soon fills me with absolute terror. He is my biggest support, the person I go to for all my support, guidance and generaL direction in life. 

we lost my grandfather, my dads father to cancer only a few months ago. This all feels too much and very unfair. 

I know what I am saying is nothing new here and people go through this every day. But I suppose I’m looking for some help on how to navigate this and manage things in the best way I can. Not just for me, but my mum, my siblings and most importantly my daughter. I just feel lost, alone and unable to see where I should start with all this. My dad would usually be the man to guide me, but he is trying to get his head around it all himself right now. 

Parents
  • A very warm welcome to the forum Kaytee1987 although I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. 

    It must have been incredibly upsetting and heart-breaking to receive this news and I can only begin to imagine what you, your dad and the rest of your family must be going through right now, especially after the loss of your grandfather just a few months ago, but I hope you can take some strength, and comfort, from knowing that our community are here for you and I'm sure some of our members will stop by soon to offer their support and advice.

    I hope this section we have about dying with cancer, including information on how to cope with this news, will provide you with a starting point but if you would like to talk any of this through with someone then do give our cancer nurses a call. They're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m and they will do all they can to support you and answer any other questions you may have at this time.

    I know there isn't anything I can say that can make this situation any better, but I am thinking of you Kaytee and sending you and your family all my support at this very difficult time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Reply
  • A very warm welcome to the forum Kaytee1987 although I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. 

    It must have been incredibly upsetting and heart-breaking to receive this news and I can only begin to imagine what you, your dad and the rest of your family must be going through right now, especially after the loss of your grandfather just a few months ago, but I hope you can take some strength, and comfort, from knowing that our community are here for you and I'm sure some of our members will stop by soon to offer their support and advice.

    I hope this section we have about dying with cancer, including information on how to cope with this news, will provide you with a starting point but if you would like to talk any of this through with someone then do give our cancer nurses a call. They're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m and they will do all they can to support you and answer any other questions you may have at this time.

    I know there isn't anything I can say that can make this situation any better, but I am thinking of you Kaytee and sending you and your family all my support at this very difficult time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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