So sorry but things will get better i even if we don't feel it 

I have a favourite saying

Him up there will never give me more than I can cope with x

I don't practice religion but this saying has got me through more things than you can imagine in my life  and when I'm feeling near breaking point I take myself down to the beach where nobody is around and I shout it usually something like

Enough is enough I know you never give me more than I can cope with BUT your really pushing it now. 

Find your own little quiet safe place and let your lungs do the screaming doesn't matter what you say or scream but for me it's a relief and feels like a weight being lifted there are people out there you can speak with and going through just the same as you .

You are strong  and doing so well

So sorry but things will get better i even if we don't feel it 

I have a favourite saying

Him up there will never give me more than I can cope with x

I don't practice religion but this saying has got me through more things than you can imagine in my life  and when I'm feeling near breaking point I take myself down to the beach where nobody is around and I shout it usually something like

Enough is enough I know you never give me more than I can cope with BUT your really pushing it now. 

Find your own little quiet safe place and let your lungs do the screaming doesn't matter what you say or scream but for me it's a relief and feels like a weight being lifted there are people out there you can speak with and going through just the same as you .

You are strong  and doing so well

Thank  you Eun.  It is funny you saying that about our creator.  I have always felt that God has a sick sense of humour.  I have had, what i would say a hard life and came through it a lot stronger and much happier.  Then the Cancer landed on my door step.  First thing i asked him was  ' Have i not been through enough already'.

The only answer i could hear was that he would not have chosen me if i was not strong enough to handle it.  

I think if i said to people that it was a gift, they would think i was barmy.  

I am going to get through this, maybe a bit weak and broken at first but i know my strength will return again, hopefully stronger then before,  If we are not tested how are we to know how strong we really are. 

xxxx