Hi there , first of all what you are feeling is absolutely normal . I describe having breast cancer as a rollercoaster ride . First you’re faced with a life changing illness   Then you have to cope with all the barrage of information , tests, then surgery / body image / emotions . If you’ve been put on hormones they have side effects too . I would advise you to speak to your Gp and explain how you are feeling, also you can call Maggie’s or any of the helplines for a chat Having a DIEP is major surgery and takes some getting over, so no wonder you are feeling like this . Please be kind to yourself , and I hope you feel better soon. X

Hi, your very brave lady, so how are you feeling now?

Sorry to hear that I'm a carer I'm sure a lot of support out there 

Hi Hayley,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

As the other replies have mentioned, this is all part of the rollercoaster, which comes with a breast cancer diagnosis. I am glad to hear that your surgery is behind you, although this must have been especially difficult when you are in a fairly new relationship. Eight weeks post-op is still early days. Can I ask what in particular you're not coping with? There are so many different issues that affect us all.

I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer and eventually ended up with a double mastectomy. Unfortunately, due to previous, non-cancer related surgery, I was unable to have reconstruction. I was concerned about my appearance, recurrence, frightened of death, worried about my family - the list goes on. I had lost my mum to secondary breast cancer before I was diagnosed, so naturally, my mind went to the worst case scenario. All that was 14 years ago and I still lead a busy and fulfilling life. It has taken me some time to come to terms with my diagnosis and treatments, it certainly didn't happen overnight. I attended some of Breast Cancer Care's " Moving Forward" meetings. I also attended Maggie's and The Haven. Here I spoke to a counsellor, who helped to put everything into perspective for me. I also availed of some of their alternative treatments to help me relax. 

When the "Moving Forward" meetings stopped, a number of us who were on the course, got together and formed our own support group. We met in each other's houses and this gave us the support we needed, for as long as we wanted it. I was also prescribed Venlafaxine by my GP. This is a mild anti-depressant and I found this a great help too. 

You will eventually "Get out of the bit", but you may need to be pro-active about doing so.

Please consider some of these things and let us know what you decide to do. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you so much for your reply. My partner, family and friends are very supportive but when its you going through change its hard for them to understand how you really feel.  I have always been hard on myself and push myself sometimes too much: my own worst critic, so feeling the way i do hurts even more.  Thank you for your kind words, they are a great comfort to me.

Hello Lara.  Thank you for responding.  Congratulations on your 1 year, it is reassuring to know that how i feel is normal.  Sometimes when you become overwhelmed with emotion you begin to think you have lost the plot and have no grip on things.   Being isolated at home by yourself does not help.  I have had a word with myself and am going to find something every day to do.  I have had some good news regarding my future treatment, i do not need to have Chemotherapy.  I am just waiting for a Radiotherapy appointment and yesterday began taking tamoxifen. I will wait to see how that goes and hopefully begin to see that light of life again. xxx

So sorry but things will get better i even if we don't feel it 

I have a favourite saying

Him up there will never give me more than I can cope with x

I don't practice religion but this saying has got me through more things than you can imagine in my life  and when I'm feeling near breaking point I take myself down to the beach where nobody is around and I shout it usually something like

Enough is enough I know you never give me more than I can cope with BUT your really pushing it now. 

Find your own little quiet safe place and let your lungs do the screaming doesn't matter what you say or scream but for me it's a relief and feels like a weight being lifted there are people out there you can speak with and going through just the same as you .

You are strong  and doing so well

Hello Trigger52.  We  are all brave people.  No one ever knows how they are going to feel hearing that they have Cancer or any life threatening illness, until it is you!

For me as well as many people i think, waiting for test results, waiting for treatment, just waiting for anything to happen adds to the anxiety. I felt that nothing was happening quick enough.  It definitely helped being vocal on this site, I had a word with myself.  I had no fear about the surgery, had every faith in the surgeons but wow, post op, not sure i would go through that again.  I now read information on Radiotherapy and the hormone therapy, not sure how i feel about it, but its now the nexr step i am going to have to climb.  Im just hoping that i have enough strength in me to keep climbing. x

Hello Jolamine. What an inspiration you are to me as probably to many.  Reading your response and other replies comforts me in knowing that we are never alone in this journey.

You are absolutely right about being pro-active.  I have always been an active person, never ill, being there for others and helping in which ever way i could. I am finding it hard being at home, at first not being able to do things for myself and relying on others to help me.  Slowly but surely i am becoming more mobile.  My body still has a way to go after the surgery to feel more like mine again.  I am now waiting for a Radiotherapy appointment and have started taking Tamoxifen.  

It is a lot of change, just getting over the surgery and then stepping into another treatment, not knowing how your body, mind or soul will cope with its next journey.

I have decided to just see what happens. I know we are all different and our bodies react differently to treatments.  Like yourself i am just going share my experiences on this site and hope that it helps others.  Its always the little things that  mean a lot to me.

Thank you so much xx