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Mums dying and I can’t cope

Bex1994
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My mum has recently been diagnosed with secondary lung, liver and bone cancer. They haven't found the primary cancer as yet. We're waiting for a call this week to determine what will be offered to her, if anything at all. The consultant wanted to wait to see the results of the fluid they drained from her lung (pleural effusion). We have been told it isn't cureable but may be treatable to prolong life. I'm only 26 and I don't want to lose my mum.. I have two young children, 1.5 years and 11 weeks old and it's breaking my heart to see how quickly she has went downhill. We initially thought it was a sore back and we we're getting physio for this but then she started to struggle breathing and we have been hit with this news.. honeslty I just don't know what to do or where to go because she's gotten so so so Ill very quickly and she's unable to walk long distances, she's so sore all the time and she's obviously shocked by the news.. I'm so scared because I know what's coming this week and I'm scared they will say she's not got long left. Is there anything out there for me to help process this news so I can continue being strong for her because I'm about breaking every time I look at her and that's hurting me because she doesn't want to be looked at like she's dying. 

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    Hi Bex

    I am really sorry to hear of your Mom's diagnosis. I am 27 and my Dad died 10 months ago. It was about this time last year that he was having tests done. We had about 6 weeks with him after they found the cancer (he had a backache too but thought he pulled it gardening). Of course, I am not saying this will be the case for you. <3

    Hope for the best but begin to prepare for the worst after you find out the results. I feel like I grieved a lot before he passed away. I cried every day and had trouble sleeping. I was so anxious after his diagnosis and had a constant knot in my stomach so I can relate and sympathize with what you're going through. Nothing prepares us for this and it really hurts :( My Dad was all the way in America so I wasn't around him until the very end. I tried to be strong but eventually I let him see my pain. It is undeniably sad and I think it's OK to show that. I made sure he knew how much I appreciated all he had done for me and that he was a great father. 

     My Dad was an incredible athlete so his quality of life was very affected being so sore and unable to walk or take care of himself. Looking back I am so grateful his suffering didn't last long, so if that is the case for your mom I hope you can find some peace in that. Cancer is brutal and it is difficult to watch a parent struggle in that way. Help her take her pain medicine on time so she can be as comfortable as possible (best to not wait until the symptoms of pain are present). Share all of your stories with her and be there for her as much as you can but make sure you get your rest. I'm sure she will have so much joy being around you and her grandchildren. xxxx 

    I hope you find good news and am wishing you and your family all the best during this difficult time. 

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    Hi Bex

    I am really sorry to hear of your Mom's diagnosis. I am 27 and my Dad died 10 months ago. It was about this time last year that he was having tests done. We had about 6 weeks with him after they found the cancer (he had a backache too but thought he pulled it gardening). Of course, I am not saying this will be the case for you. <3

    Hope for the best but begin to prepare for the worst after you find out the results. I feel like I grieved a lot before he passed away. I cried every day and had trouble sleeping. I was so anxious after his diagnosis and had a constant knot in my stomach so I can relate and sympathize with what you're going through. Nothing prepares us for this and it really hurts :( My Dad was all the way in America so I wasn't around him until the very end. I tried to be strong but eventually I let him see my pain. It is undeniably sad and I think it's OK to show that. I made sure he knew how much I appreciated all he had done for me and that he was a great father. 

     My Dad was an incredible athlete so his quality of life was very affected being so sore and unable to walk or take care of himself. Looking back I am so grateful his suffering didn't last long, so if that is the case for your mom I hope you can find some peace in that. Cancer is brutal and it is difficult to watch a parent struggle in that way. Help her take her pain medicine on time so she can be as comfortable as possible (best to not wait until the symptoms of pain are present). Share all of your stories with her and be there for her as much as you can but make sure you get your rest. I'm sure she will have so much joy being around you and her grandchildren. xxxx 

    I hope you find good news and am wishing you and your family all the best during this difficult time. 

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