Mums dying and I can’t cope

My mum has recently been diagnosed with secondary lung, liver and bone cancer. They haven't found the primary cancer as yet. We're waiting for a call this week to determine what will be offered to her, if anything at all. The consultant wanted to wait to see the results of the fluid they drained from her lung (pleural effusion). We have been told it isn't cureable but may be treatable to prolong life. I'm only 26 and I don't want to lose my mum.. I have two young children, 1.5 years and 11 weeks old and it's breaking my heart to see how quickly she has went downhill. We initially thought it was a sore back and we we're getting physio for this but then she started to struggle breathing and we have been hit with this news.. honeslty I just don't know what to do or where to go because she's gotten so so so Ill very quickly and she's unable to walk long distances, she's so sore all the time and she's obviously shocked by the news.. I'm so scared because I know what's coming this week and I'm scared they will say she's not got long left. Is there anything out there for me to help process this news so I can continue being strong for her because I'm about breaking every time I look at her and that's hurting me because she doesn't want to be looked at like she's dying. 

Parents
  • Hi Bex1994,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum, we have recently had a stage 4 cancer diagnosis in the family, so can fully emphasise with what you're feeling atm.

    I've not accessed any support myself but we were given a McMillan booklet with a family support phone number on:

    0808 8080 00 00

    I assume cancer research and other organisations will also offer similar support - help is out there for families/carers so definitely make contact with someone!  You need to look after yourself and your young children at this time in addition to being there for your Mum.

    Take care

    Lorraine 

Reply
  • Hi Bex1994,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum, we have recently had a stage 4 cancer diagnosis in the family, so can fully emphasise with what you're feeling atm.

    I've not accessed any support myself but we were given a McMillan booklet with a family support phone number on:

    0808 8080 00 00

    I assume cancer research and other organisations will also offer similar support - help is out there for families/carers so definitely make contact with someone!  You need to look after yourself and your young children at this time in addition to being there for your Mum.

    Take care

    Lorraine 

Children
  • Hi Bex1994 I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It is incredibly hard and unfair, there are no words. Nobody can say anything to help you but whilst your mum is here you can’t despair or be sad. I was the same and I lost my mum very quickly, I wish I just talked to her more and held her more. Just tell her how much you love her, it will help you both. Macmillan cancer chat phone line are so helpful. I thought I had time and they’re trained to help family and friends of patients just as much as they help patients. I wish I had the words to help you and that I could make this pain disappear for you. If you need to vent or share anything here please do. Thinking of you and your mum xxx