Extremely difficult choice - need advice

Hello,

My name is Adam and I am a UK citizen but have lived as an expat in Sydney Australia for past 5 years. 
I have a fiancé who I met here and she is too originally from UK. We are expecting our first child (boy) in August 2021 so we are only a few weeks away.

Earlier this year I found out that my father, who I am extremely close with and still lives in London, has lung cancer. During the last few months he has been extremely positive and gone through all the chemo and radiotherapy rounds. We all thought it was going almost too easy and with no side effects everything looked extremely positive with nothing to worry about. Until a couple of weeks ago he started complaining of terrible headaches, vomiting uncontrollably and unsteady on feet. Rushed to hospital and told it was just the effects of his treatments, sent home with paracetamol. After a few more days of same symptoms he was rushed to hospital again by my family and this time having done a further brain scan (which they should of done last time) he has been diagnosed with Brain metastasis with many lesions now present. He has since deteriorated badly and is on lots of morphine with outlook looking grim.

I am utterly devestated with an overwhelming sense of guilt that I have been living so far away and also not presently there to support him. My two sisters and mum have been taking in turns to see him but he has slipped into depression. He lacks interest in anything and mostly sleeps as on pain meds. 
I want to fly over to see him for what will be a final goodbye but with the current travel restrictions due to covid it is making it extremely hard. I can travel to UK no problem but to get back I need a compassionate travel exemption. Should I be granted this I then need to find a flight that would take me back to Australia after a week so I can support my fiancé in the birth and see my son being born. As there is a inbound passenger cap many peoples flights are being cancelled and thousands are still waiting to come back to Australia, some waiting months!

Therefore, it seems it has boiled down to me having to make a decision on wether to fly home to see my father one last time, potentially not returning to Australia for months, or staying here to support my fiancé in the birth of our son. I should point out that she has no family over here and has been battling with mental health problems so its imperative I am here. But also equally important I see my dad one last time as we have been so close.

Any advice would be hige help in what is an impossible decision to make.

 

Parents
  • Terrible situation for you to be in but I do feel it's very important you stay for the birth of your baby.  You can't save your Dad by coming home it's purely to show your love for him and get to hug him but I'm sure he knows that.  It could happen that you come home to say goodbye to him and also miss the birth of your baby and leave your fiancé alone out there if you can't get back.  As you lose your Dad you will at least have a beautiful new baby son - the story of life goes on.

    I think I caught his spirit later that seem year, I'm sure I heard his echo in my baby's new born tears x

  • Thank you for the reply, really appreciate the advice.

    I have made the difficult decision to stay for now as the situation in Sydney has worsened and flights coming back in are extremely limited so I cannot take the chance of not being able to support partner in the final few weeks of the pregnancy.

    It's breaking my heart though every day, knowing my dad is in pain and with not much time left, having to see him deteriorat over video chat is so distressing. I just want to hold his hand or give him a big hug and I cant do that, feels like torture to me.

    But I will need to deal with that and if my dad could communicate properly again he would tell me to stay here and look after my fiancé and baby when he arrives. 
     

    Thanks for sharing the lyrics too, will always remember those from here

Reply
  • Thank you for the reply, really appreciate the advice.

    I have made the difficult decision to stay for now as the situation in Sydney has worsened and flights coming back in are extremely limited so I cannot take the chance of not being able to support partner in the final few weeks of the pregnancy.

    It's breaking my heart though every day, knowing my dad is in pain and with not much time left, having to see him deteriorat over video chat is so distressing. I just want to hold his hand or give him a big hug and I cant do that, feels like torture to me.

    But I will need to deal with that and if my dad could communicate properly again he would tell me to stay here and look after my fiancé and baby when he arrives. 
     

    Thanks for sharing the lyrics too, will always remember those from here

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