Wow what a terrible position to be in im e 67 with incurable lung cancer and im puting myself in your dads place. I realise we're not all the same i have sons and i would say stay and support your wife your dad would understand for sure. You've had years with him and yrs of memories and when your little one gets older you can have many mote yrs reminiscing. Good luck in what you do but personally stay put. All the best.

Hi is there any chance you could Both fly home so you can still be together nomatter what,I know you'll have to sort medical care for your fiance and mess about with paperwork and probably other things but at least you'll be together and see your father.

Hope you can get something sorted nomatter what you do.

Best wishes

Billy

Hey [@adam1986]‍ 

What an awful decision to have to make, but on top of that covid has added another layer of pain on everything you're experiencing. I'm really sorry. 

I think it's a hugely personal decision, and I think everyone would suggest different things. I know you probably already have, but have you spoken to your mum and sisters about everything, and more importantly how you are feeling? I don't know if this is remotely any help, but when my mum was in hosputal after her diagnosis, I took an iPad into the hospital as visiting wasnt allowed, and even when she was sleepy, I ask the nurse to answer my call, and I would just talk to her. 

I'm so sorry you're having to even have to make this decision, but you will come to the right one for you and either way, your dad will feel the love from you. I can tell that from your message here. 

Sending you lots of love for the future xxx

So sorry to hear of your own situation, and thank you so much for your personal advice, it made me shed tears again as I actually feel deep down that is what my dad would want as he always messaged me to say that my number 1 priority in life now is to look after my partner and be a good dad to the baby. The thought of not being able to hold him again and tell him what a great dad he has been is devastating, how can life be so cruel

Thank you for your kind message. I had a call with sisters and mum and explained im doing everything to make it happen but also explained might not be able to. Sister thinks i should come back as last time to see dad then try best to go Australia after, but mum more understanding and said she understands if i stay. I just feel extremely guilty either way and feel like i will be resented for being all way out here when dads going through this. Im having difficulty sleeping, eating and focusing on anything as the thought of my dad dying without me saying goodbye properly is eating away at me. Feels like real life nightmare 

I know it's easier said than done (far far easier..) but I think you should genuinely follow your mum's lead on what she says to you, and although I do not know you, or your family I would be really, genuinely shocked if any of your family for a second resented you. I think if anything, they have so much sympathy for the fact you're in an unbelievably difficult position. 

I think sibling relationships are more difficult to navigate at times like this even if you're close. My brother and I during my mum's diagnosis disagreed on quite a lot of things, but in the end, it's grief talking. So if you're sister tells you that you need to come back, it's probably through absolute heartbreak of your dad's diagnosis, and not because she thinks you're not trying to get back, or you're picking one situation over another as a priority. I think it's easier to think even 1% more clearly when you have been in the shock of being told what you have been told (although I know I didn't have to make such a huge choice) but I do know the constant anxious feeling which leads not eating or sleeping, unfortunately very well. 

Lots of love xxx

Top man whatever you do your dad will always be with you good luck to you both and your family.x.

Terrible situation for you to be in but I do feel it's very important you stay for the birth of your baby.  You can't save your Dad by coming home it's purely to show your love for him and get to hug him but I'm sure he knows that.  It could happen that you come home to say goodbye to him and also miss the birth of your baby and leave your fiancé alone out there if you can't get back.  As you lose your Dad you will at least have a beautiful new baby son - the story of life goes on.

I think I caught his spirit later that seem year, I'm sure I heard his echo in my baby's new born tears x

Thank you for the reply, really appreciate the advice.

I have made the difficult decision to stay for now as the situation in Sydney has worsened and flights coming back in are extremely limited so I cannot take the chance of not being able to support partner in the final few weeks of the pregnancy.

It's breaking my heart though every day, knowing my dad is in pain and with not much time left, having to see him deteriorat over video chat is so distressing. I just want to hold his hand or give him a big hug and I cant do that, feels like torture to me.

But I will need to deal with that and if my dad could communicate properly again he would tell me to stay here and look after my fiancé and baby when he arrives. 
 

Thanks for sharing the lyrics too, will always remember those from here