Mum has terminal lung cancer

Hi everyone, this is my first post here. Not something I wanted to do but this is where I am. My mum was diagnosed with Lung Cancer back in January. She has always been super fit before that. The only sig. We had was she coughed up a little blood and then things snowballed from there. It turned out she had Metastatic Kidney Cancer and now Some small tumours in the brain. She has been managing ok but things seem to be getting worse. She had Srs radiotherapy for her brain mets and that seemed to go ok. We are about 1 and a half weeks later now and she is really struggling. Constantly tired and struggling to get around like she did. She says she's constantly tired and has a lot of aching on her right hand side.

She's not in any pain now we got the medication sorted but I'm constantly worried. I'm hoping she will pick back up again. She had a patch before where she was constantly tired and she came back round to be more active. I'm worried out of my mind that she will keep declining. Could this tiredness be down to the brain radiotherapy. She seemed ok when she had it but she was on steroids. The doctor said 6-9 months then 9-12 if they can get control of the cancer. She is supposed to be having radiotherapy for her lung but I'm not sure what will happen with her feeling weaker. She wasn't so bad only a few days ago and now she is very tired again. I just don't know how to cope with losing my mum. She's my life and I will be lost without her. I've been living with her at home for the past 18 years due to my own illness. We are so close and it feels like my world is falling apart. I know other people go through this but I am struggling. This is the hardest thing I will ever have to do. Muly mum is 65, she still feels so young to me. Thank you for reading. 

  • Hi Jolamine, I promise you are never a pest. I appreciate that you are always looking out for me. It is very kind of you! I'm so sorry to hear that about your husband. Hopefully it's a slow decline and his health remains as good as possible. I know it must be difficult for you both. 
    Yes I didn't think I would bother for Easter but I thought my mum would want me to have one. I'm trying to keep the spirit even when it's hard. I think some of the things I couldn't even think about doing without my parents before seem a little bit more possible now so I am coming to terms with things although I know it will take time. You should treat yourself to an egg Jolamine, I know they aren't good for you but I thought as a one off why not. I know it's easy to get carried away with chocolate though! 
    I did manage to get PIP so that has helped a lot. It has taken a weight of my mind as I am a little bit more comfortable now financially and don't worry so much. 
     

    That sounds good Jolamine, so you will have a busy weekend painting the room. I was going to say don't do too much but I'm guessing you like to keep busy. How has it been not working, are you getting more used to it now. It must still feel strange for you. You take care Jolamine.

    Simon x

  • Hi Jolamine, I just wanted to check that you were doing ok. I just had a look on your profile and saw you had covid. That’s awful Jolamine. I hope you are managing as best as you can. I hope your husband is doing ok too. I just wanted to check in, you take care Jolamine. x

    Simon

  • Hi Simon,

    Thank you for your good wishes. Hubby and I have both had Covid. We think that he got it at the stroke club and kindly brought it home to me. It's been a tough few weeks, but we are at last testing clear, although still totally exhausted.

    How are you doing? I hope that you are making the most of all this good weather.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Hi Jolamine, I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m glad you are finally clear although it sounds like you still are getting a lot of the after effects. Hopefully that clears with time and you both feel better. Ah did he, it’s so easy to pick things up isn’t it these days.

    I’m doing ok thanks Jolamine. I have, it’s been really nice weather hasn’t it! I have just been pottering around trying to tidy up the garden. Just do little bits at a time, it does give me a reason to go out and get some sun though which is good! I have just been trying to work out the new forum too, it’s totally different isn’t it! I’m getting there now! I hope you both continue to feel better Jolamine! You take care. 

    Simon x

  • Hi Simon,

    We certainly still have some of the after effects, but hopefully they'll clear with time.

    I'm glad to hear that you are doing ok  and that the good weather is tempting you to tidy up the garden. We have lived in our house for over 40 years. We noticed that some of our lawn was beginning to sink at Christmas. When we investigated it fully, we discovered a 12 foot wide and 10 foot deep hole. We had the mining company out along with Scottish water, but neither could shed any light on the cause. We have now filled in the hole with 8 tons of stone and are waiting for this to settle before we lay more grass on top.

    Yes the new forum is totally different. I must confess that I am missing some of the older attributes, that they seem to have done away with, but it is good not to be constantly losing posts. Thank you for your good wishes.

    Take care,

    Jolamine xx

  • Hi Jolamine, yes I believe it is difficult to shake of the after effects but hopefully in time you both feel normal again. I’m sure it took it out of you both. 
    Wow did you Jolamine, that is crazy. A 10 foot hole! I guess uiu don’t know with these things till you check. I bet that took some filling in, that’s a big hole! Isn’t it strange how they couldn’t find a cause for it. One minute the lawn is sinking, the next you have a huge hole! Hopefully it settles soon than you can lay more grass on top. 

    My garden is mostly concrete with a few plants dotted around. I have been trying to get rid of the weeds, they are a real pain! It does get me up mad about thought and once it’s done I will feel a sense of accomplishment. I just do a little bit each day! It was ultra hot yesterday here, it’s difficult to sleep when it gets that warm isn’t it! 

    it is isn’t it Jolamine, I suppose after a bit of time you get used to the change with the forum but it’s hard work at first. I’m glad you aren’t losing all your posts! Thank you Jolamine! You take care and I hope you and your husband continue to feel better soon.

    Simon x

  • hi there i am sad to hear abut your mom situation and pray to God that you ride on it and my apriciation with you and your mom i wish if i cud see her photo but i pray for her

  • Hi Simon,

    I hope that the after effects don't last for too long, as they've really knocked me for 6. With regards to our hole.  I am so relieved that my children or grandchildren haven't fallen into it, before we discovered it.

    My ideal garden is now one like yours. We really will have to move soon, as the garden is too big for me to keep. It's a constant battle with he weeds - great when it all looks neat and tidy, then all back again in no time. We have had lovely weather here for the past month, but it does make it difficult to sleep at night.

    I suppose that we'll get used to the new forum with time, but it doesn't seem as intuitive as the old one.

    Jolamine xx

  • yes dear i understand and i wish you always good and smiles to you freshness to you and saying words to me will makes you feel light and i also will share my words to you i am happy to hear about your garden and i feel freshness to imagen your sweet garden the weather to me is also very lovely here nowdays and i enjoy like you its nice meeting to you and we can keep in touch to each other 

  • Hi Jolamine, hopefully the symptoms aren’t long term. I can only imagine how difficult it has been for you both. Hopefully over time they disappear.
    I’m sure you were shocked about the hole. I’m glad the children didn’t have any mishaps. You don’t expect things like that to happen! 
    It sounds like it’s very difficult for you to keep on top off. I must admit I would like a large garden but as you said you have to keep on top of it and then once it’s done it’s not long before you have to do it again! I must admit with mostly concrete it’s just once every couple of years which does make it easier! I do know what you mean though. We have some hedges and they are constantly growing and need trimming!

    It has been very warm today here Jolamine, it’s a bit too much for me once you get near 30! Hopefully it’s not too hot to sleep tonight! I agree about the forum, I went back to edit my post as there was a few spelling mistakes and it wouldn’t let me change anything. I do miss the edit function. I guess everything is hard work at first though! I hope you have had nice weather there Jolamine. You take care. 

    Simon x