Hi,my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer just over 18months ago, she also has it in her lymph nodes and rib,she has had immunotherapy and radiation therapy,she seemed to pic up a little bit,but now she is in a lot of pain and lost loads of weight, last few days she has spent most of it in bed, she in 40 mg morphine twice a day plus the liquid when needed, the consultant said he is considering cemo but thinks the side effects would be too much, can anyone tell me if this could be the end or could she pic up again,im at a loss as to what to expect 

Hi Loo1512, I'm sorry to hear that. I can't really help on what could happen next. I know Jolamine will be able to help you more. From my experience with my mum once you are too weak for treatment it usually means that there isn't too much more they can do. I know everybody is different though. Try and savour every moment you can with your mum. All the time you can spend together is special. My thoughts are with you and your mum. X

Simon 

Hi Simon, 

I'm glad to hear that you got through the day all right. I thought that you might find it difficult to hear mention of your Mum again so soon, but am glad to hear that you managed.

Don't forget that I am always here if you want to talk.

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, yes I think that was the most difficult bit when they mentioned my mum. It brought a lot of memories back and it doesn't feel that long since we lost her. I don't think you ever get over it do you, you just learn to manage better. Thank you so much Jolamine, that really means a lot to me. I hope your health is ok at the moment and you are doing better. Thank you Jolamine. 
Simon x

Hi Simon,

I don't want to intrude, but I am just wodering how you're coping. It's not that long since you lost your Mum, so mention of her was bound to bring back memories. However, it was something that had to be done and, I'm so glad to hear that you got through it.

Thinking of you and your sister.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, how are you. Don't worry you are not intruding at all! I'm doing ok thank you. Things still feel very strange but I have kept busy getting things in order. I've mostly been sorting out the bills and putting them in my name and seeing what help I can qualify for. It was very difficult and brought back lots of memories of my mum but I knew that could happen! 
Its such a massive change going from having both parents to being on my own. My sister helps where she can but I know it's just something I have to get through. I am doing ok though thank you.

How are you doing Jolamine, I hope you are your husbands health has been ok.

Simon x

Hi Simon,

I am glad to hear that you are coping. It sounds as if you are keeping busy with transferring papers into your name. There is always a lot of tis work to be done and it can be quite time consuming and frustrating at times.

Have you got someone to help with what benefits you are entitled to? It is difficult to do this on your own, but the people at the CItizen's Advice Bureau are usually very helpful with this, as are social workers.

You will find it very strange living on your own now and I hope that you will get used to it, although it will take time.

We are not doing too badly, thanks Simon. Hubby hasn't been so good for the past couple of weeks, but is seeing the doctor on Friday. I am waiting to see the cardiologist again about my high blood pressure. Otherwise we're both ok.

Thinking of you. Take care of yourself.

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, I'm sorry to hear your husband hasn't been well. Hopefully the doctor can help him today and the cardiologist can help with your blood pressure too. Yes I have felt quite busy even though I'm not actually doing that much! Just lots of things to organise with the house and bill paperwork, it does feel endless at times!

I have looked into it and I do believe I may be eligible for PIP so I am applying for that. Every little bit helps, I must admit when my mum and dad were around it didn't matter so much but now I do need to claim anything I am entitled to. You are right Jolamine, I am going to see citizens advice just to make sure I am doing everything I can. 

It has felt quite strange on my own, again with being so busy you don't really notice and then all of a sudden it hits you! I guess it's just getting used to it over time. I am managing ok though. Thank you so much Jolamine, I hope your appointments go well. You take care.

Simon x

Hi Simon,

It has been some time since I last heard from you and you have been in my thoughts. I hope that you have managed to get most of your paperwork sorted by now and that you are getting more accustomed to living on your own.

Kind regards,

Jolamine x

Hi Jolamine, I hope you are well. I was just thinking about you the other day! I looked and saw you had been online so I was going to message you. I know I haven't checked in for a while. I'm doing ok thanks. Slowly getting used to things now. I'm not so keen on holidays like Easter as they are always times you seem to miss them most! 
You do just get used to things don't you, time passes and you have to try and make the best of it. I still haven't wrapped my head around the fact they are both gone yet but I know that will take time. It is sinking in now though as things become more normal. How have you been Jolamine, is your husband doing ok? 
Have you got any plans for Easter, I'm not doing too much although I did get myself an Easter egg! I hope you are well. 

Simon x

Hi Simon,

I don't want to keep pestering you, as you begin to come to terms with all that has happened. However, rest assured that you can always message me and you are always in my thoughts. Unfortunately, holidays and anniversaries are always hard. I'm glad to hear that you treated yourself to an Easter egg. I avoided the temptation to buy any for ourselves, but I did get our grandchildren one each.

I hope that you have manaed to sort out your finances and that you were eligible for some benefits.

We are seeing a big difference in hubby's memory and he is slowing down a lot. However, I suppose that this is all to be expected. We have had beautiful weather here for Easter and have spent the weekend buying a new carpet and paint for a room that we're redecorating. I'll need to start painting tomorrow, as the carpet will arrive in a couple of weeks.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, I promise you are never a pest. I appreciate that you are always looking out for me. It is very kind of you! I'm so sorry to hear that about your husband. Hopefully it's a slow decline and his health remains as good as possible. I know it must be difficult for you both. 
Yes I didn't think I would bother for Easter but I thought my mum would want me to have one. I'm trying to keep the spirit even when it's hard. I think some of the things I couldn't even think about doing without my parents before seem a little bit more possible now so I am coming to terms with things although I know it will take time. You should treat yourself to an egg Jolamine, I know they aren't good for you but I thought as a one off why not. I know it's easy to get carried away with chocolate though! 
I did manage to get PIP so that has helped a lot. It has taken a weight of my mind as I am a little bit more comfortable now financially and don't worry so much. 
 

That sounds good Jolamine, so you will have a busy weekend painting the room. I was going to say don't do too much but I'm guessing you like to keep busy. How has it been not working, are you getting more used to it now. It must still feel strange for you. You take care Jolamine.

Simon x

Hi Jolamine, I promise you are never a pest. I appreciate that you are always looking out for me. It is very kind of you! I'm so sorry to hear that about your husband. Hopefully it's a slow decline and his health remains as good as possible. I know it must be difficult for you both. 
Yes I didn't think I would bother for Easter but I thought my mum would want me to have one. I'm trying to keep the spirit even when it's hard. I think some of the things I couldn't even think about doing without my parents before seem a little bit more possible now so I am coming to terms with things although I know it will take time. You should treat yourself to an egg Jolamine, I know they aren't good for you but I thought as a one off why not. I know it's easy to get carried away with chocolate though! 
I did manage to get PIP so that has helped a lot. It has taken a weight of my mind as I am a little bit more comfortable now financially and don't worry so much. 
 

That sounds good Jolamine, so you will have a busy weekend painting the room. I was going to say don't do too much but I'm guessing you like to keep busy. How has it been not working, are you getting more used to it now. It must still feel strange for you. You take care Jolamine.

Simon x