Scared to lose my mum

My mum has a stage 4 cancer. The doctors have said possibly 2 years but some people live longer but it cannot be cured.  She is 61.

 

When we first learned it was cancer i obviously feared the worst and worried she may only have weeks left.... so on one hand I am happy she has longer and is also physically very well at the moment  making it hard to imagine what road might lie ahead.

 

I get very upset when I am alone and cry when I think about the years a head.  I am scared for my mum.  I dont want her to be scared or feel ill.  I feel sad for myself who will lose my mum but most of all I feel blind panic worrying how she will cope with the future.  I read about other people accepting and being strong.... what if my mum isnt? It breaks my heart  i just dont want her to be unhappy and have her life taken away.  She is so independent and has so many activities and hobbies she is involved in.

 

I would rather this happened to me than her.

Parents Reply Children
  • Hello, it has been a while.... I recently turned 18, the same age you were when you replied to my message. My mum passed away a few months after I sent that message in August 2021 and my life has been a blur ever since. I'm going to university this year and I hate that fact that life is moving on so fast with the only person I ever cared about frozen in the past.

    I hope you are doing okay and I'm thinking about you.