Scared to lose my mum

My mum has a stage 4 cancer. The doctors have said possibly 2 years but some people live longer but it cannot be cured.  She is 61.

 

When we first learned it was cancer i obviously feared the worst and worried she may only have weeks left.... so on one hand I am happy she has longer and is also physically very well at the moment  making it hard to imagine what road might lie ahead.

 

I get very upset when I am alone and cry when I think about the years a head.  I am scared for my mum.  I dont want her to be scared or feel ill.  I feel sad for myself who will lose my mum but most of all I feel blind panic worrying how she will cope with the future.  I read about other people accepting and being strong.... what if my mum isnt? It breaks my heart  i just dont want her to be unhappy and have her life taken away.  She is so independent and has so many activities and hobbies she is involved in.

 

I would rather this happened to me than her.

Parents
  • Hi [@Catparrot21]‍  I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, it's awful what she and you are going through. I can remember when my mum was first diagnosed and I felt the same emotions as what you have described. It does take a while to come to terms with it, and in time you will accept it, just make sure you make lots of memories and try not think about the future, think about the present. Your mum will hopefully accept it aswell, everyone is different but me and my mum found that discussing it helped us come to terms with it, how she felt how I felt etc Is this something that you think you both might be able to do? We had a really long chat in the beginning and "got it off our chests" and afterwards we just enjoyed all the time we had together. Our mums are so precious to us and we just want the best for them. There is strength in you for you and your mum, you just can't see it yet. Xxx

Reply
  • Hi [@Catparrot21]‍  I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, it's awful what she and you are going through. I can remember when my mum was first diagnosed and I felt the same emotions as what you have described. It does take a while to come to terms with it, and in time you will accept it, just make sure you make lots of memories and try not think about the future, think about the present. Your mum will hopefully accept it aswell, everyone is different but me and my mum found that discussing it helped us come to terms with it, how she felt how I felt etc Is this something that you think you both might be able to do? We had a really long chat in the beginning and "got it off our chests" and afterwards we just enjoyed all the time we had together. Our mums are so precious to us and we just want the best for them. There is strength in you for you and your mum, you just can't see it yet. Xxx

Children
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