Hey guys,
Just abit of background, my mum is 55, and was recently diagnosed with Advanced bowel cancer, that had spread to the liver and lungs.
In terms of treatment, she was declined surgery, as the cancer had spread too much, we are awaiting an appointment with the oncologist to discuss if she can have palliative chemotherapy- but will assess her fitness. However, she is extremely weak, as she was also diagnosed with covid last week, which she got from hospital when she went to get her ascites drained.
When she was first diagnosed in February, I was positive as prior to her becoming diagnosed, she appeared to be the fittest she had ever been- ie/ working out, walking 10k daily steps, eating well. I would've never thought she had Stage 4 cancer. But recently I'm feeling extremely deflated, angry because the cancer wasn't spotted earlier, and extremely depressed.
I want to be positive, but at the same time, I am petrified. I don't want my mum to die. I can't imagine life without her, and don't want to imagine life without her. I keep thinking why didn't we do more. I feel like I'm going crazy. At the same time, I keep thinking, should I be preparing for her death, or should I wait until oncologist decide on treatment plan.
I just don't know how to feel, or what to do to ease the pain. Please can someone help? I feel really down
