Hello ,

I am still new to this forum , but I am in a similar situation to you. It's unbearable to think about losing your mum - my mum is a similar age . I have just found out there's nothing more they can do and it's just about her end of life care now. This is hard for me to deal with . She had her lung removed just over a year ago to get rid of the cancer - which was successful.. then recently found cancer in her chest lymph which they put her on an intense course of chemo /radio- which really made her so weak and in pain - and again this was successful they told us. A couple of weeks ago she kept having falls as her legs gave way - and now they have found incurable brain cancer . I'm heartbroken. She's my best friend and such a lovely person . 

I find I am already grieving for the things we can no longer do and the things I had wish I had done. But it's doing my mental health no good. I think it's a process everyone must feel but you mustn't think like that. We are all human and no one ever can see these things coming . 

I talk to mum every day now  , and I talk about the things we did do and try and remember good/funny times we had. I think you need to take a day at a time .  I really do feel your pain but you are not alone . Sometimes nothing can ease the pain, it's all a process, but every day your mum is here is a blessing, make every little moment and conversation count . 
 

Xxx
 

Hello ,

I am still new to this forum , but I am in a similar situation to you. It's unbearable to think about losing your mum - my mum is a similar age . I have just found out there's nothing more they can do and it's just about her end of life care now. This is hard for me to deal with . She had her lung removed just over a year ago to get rid of the cancer - which was successful.. then recently found cancer in her chest lymph which they put her on an intense course of chemo /radio- which really made her so weak and in pain - and again this was successful they told us. A couple of weeks ago she kept having falls as her legs gave way - and now they have found incurable brain cancer . I'm heartbroken. She's my best friend and such a lovely person . 

I find I am already grieving for the things we can no longer do and the things I had wish I had done. But it's doing my mental health no good. I think it's a process everyone must feel but you mustn't think like that. We are all human and no one ever can see these things coming . 

I talk to mum every day now  , and I talk about the things we did do and try and remember good/funny times we had. I think you need to take a day at a time .  I really do feel your pain but you are not alone . Sometimes nothing can ease the pain, it's all a process, but every day your mum is here is a blessing, make every little moment and conversation count . 
 

Xxx
 

Hey, thank you so much for your reply. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, and I'm sorry you have to go through this. 
But I agree with you, every day I have with my mum is a blessing, I cherish every call message and visit. I don't want to imagine life without her, but I should live in the present, rather than what could be in the future. 
When I do think about life without her, it takes me to really dark places, because I just want her to be here forever. But as Chrissie said in her comment above, you don't need cancer to not be guranteed tomorrow. 

We just have to go through this process, and live everyday to the fullest with our mothers, so we don't have regrets in the future. 

If you need to talk, I am here x 

Sending you lots of love and prayers xx