Hi my love, my dad not long past away aged 82 with tonsil cancer which effected his breathing, and developed phnemonia which was hard to watch as fluid filled his lungs, few days before he passed I noticed a lot of irratibility and rigid body movements, such as being bit in distress, which he was given seditive,and lots pain killers intravenously , seditive stopped him from anxiety but during those distressing movements, which can be apart of death unfortunately coming within few days after.I noticed breathing became more shallower over night, just a day after his distressing movements occurred. I think it’s apart of his body shuttting down which can be so upsetting to see. He was unable to open his eyes, but could hear us next to him as I held my dads hand. I just kept saying how much we loved him and played some music so he could hear it and relax as much as possible despite being heavily sedated and pain relief to make him feel comfortable through pain. It was then breatheing became shallow and deeper. It’s hard to watch, but just hold his hand and stroke his forehead and talk to him so he knows your there. It’s much comfort for the person to know a relative is there beside them. With pain relief and controlled sedation in the last days is something that’s given days before they pass my love. Don’t be alarmed, he will be unaware of much pain or distress. He will just breath in longer in at first then slowly out again, during these moments he may get a rattle, just sounds like if he is actually got bit phlegm sitting in his throat , but he won’t feel this at all my love. He will gently then slip away peacefully. ️ Hope I trued to explain it in away it hasn’t upset you . God bless, take care , keep strong.xxxx

Thank you to all the lovely replies, my dad passed away yesterday evening.

I thought I would update incase anyone searches in the future. he had the rattle noise for 60 hour in the end, it has been a traumatic 2 weeks and the last 60 hours of his life were so distressing to watch. But he passed with myself and my mum holding his hand.

today I just feel disbelieve, I don't feel sad or anything, it's like my brain won't let me comprehend all that we have been through. I hope this is normal? I just feel like I should be distraught today and not just carrying on as normal

So sorry for your loss Emeliekate and it's so sad that his last hours were so distressing. Sincere condolences on behalf of the Cancer Chat team. 

We are thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

So sorry for your loss Emeliekate and it's so sad that his last hours were so distressing. Sincere condolences on behalf of the Cancer Chat team. 

We are thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator