Dad terminal prostate cancer - update

hi I originally posted in another thread on 'Introduce yourself'. I haven't been on here for a while.

my dad was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer back in January (2016) - he's been on hormone therapy since then. He was told the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes and lungs and that it was incurable. They couldn't say how long he ahead left to live. He couldnt have chemo as he has a history of stroke, high blood pressure. He had a bone scan sometime in the summer which came back clear. However, he had another appointment recently and he's been told that the cancer has now spread to the bone on one area of his spine in the lower back and it has spread even further in his lungs. I was dreading it spreading to his bone and this can be the worse. :((( however, he does seem ok physically for now, he's not in pain but he keeps suffering from incontinence problems at both ends, mainly urgency to urinate and not making it in time. This is getting worse. So he's going to be put on aberitarone and steroids as well to help control the cancer but has he already suffers with diabetes and a history of stroke, high blood pressure, this new drug will make all of that worse, but it will control his cancer more. So its a gamble and more added pressure and worry. Dreading what's to come, and this latest news has just knocked us all as well. Taking each day as it comes :(

  • I am so sorry about your dad

    Helen x

  • Thank you Helen - i'm gutted that so many families have to go through this, i'm desperate for a cancer breakthrough to happen x

  • hi jules 79, im so so so sorry to hear that your dads passed, my dads terminal,  and i think i know that sick feeling very well.  my heart goes out to you.  you realise life is short, and its just how each of us get called and when....so sorry, i know there are no words to help you,  i know people try to help, but sometimes you just need a long hug too, i hope there is someone there that can give you some love,  x ...cococat

  • Thanks Cococat - my family are doing amazingly well and determined to give him a good send off. I feel cheated that he should have had more years of life but on the same token many people are dying many years younger than my Dad who passed at 69. One of the hard things I feel is the anger at the disease and anger that it's looking like the hospital overdosed him on his chemo - again that makes you wonder were we robbed of any time with him but then I guess chemo carries no certainty of working - there's so many what if's with cancer isn't there! I can't get out the habit of jumping out of my skin when my phone makes a noise, I have to keep reminding myself that it's over now and that there is no more bad news to worry about receiving. They were talking a lot about cancer on BBC Breakfast news this morning and said something about the UK having the worst cancer stats in the western world - again that makes me angry that this could be the repercussion of our government sending so much money abroad instead of to our medical scientists.xx
  • Jules,

    I'm so so sorry to hear about your dad.. may he rest in peace. And that is what he has now.. peace.

    Thank you so much for your kind words too - your messages have really helped so far.

    Thinking of you. x

  • I've decided to concentrate on the good times to come, my fella and I have a lot of travels booked next year and I look forward to those - it's really made me stop worrying about the trivialities and life and want to go and experience as much as I can. Cape Town awaits me in Feb and I like knowing my dad now has the freedom and health to be with me in spirit at the top of Table Mountain xx

  • Having just read your story  it was some comfort knowing I'm not alone my husband was diagnosed November 2018 terminal prostate cancer  my biggest worry is how do I tell my children  they know he has cancer but not how serious it is again he had chemo, hormone jab, now oral tablets Again  high blood pressure  I think what I'm trying to ask when is the right time to sit them down and  talk to them I want them to have some wonderful memories before it's too late

  • Hi Maxine-.

    It's no good putting it off, they'll know something is going on with you not telling them much.. 

    I told ours as soon as we knew the details, 

    I've prostate Cancer gone to lymph nodes, spine, ribs, pelvis and a lung was diagnosed Feb 2016 went on hormone therapy and cemotherapy and tablets. Just going onto stronger hormone therapy, mine was classed as palliative care so i just live with my uninvited guest. 

    i was still working, had to retire to look after my disabled wife she needs 24 /7 care she has Alzheimers and parkinsons plus other problems I'm her official carer.

    You both have to keep positive thoughts and actions and keep fighting. 

    Good luck and best wishes for the future 

    Billy 

  • Hi everyone, my father is at stage 4 prostate cancer, it having spread to his spine and lymph nodes. He is 85. He has been offered the chemo drug Abiraterone. He is in two minds about taking it as he doesn't want to feel sick with the remaining time he has left. If anyone has any experience to share I would be grateful.

     

    Good luck to all and thank you for all the supportive and helpful posts.

     

    Paul

  • Hi Paul,

     

    im so sorry about your dad. My uncle was given aberatirone at one point, around the same age as your dad (few years younger) and he felt ok on it. He didn't respond, so didn't stay in it long, but I don't remember him feeling sick...he called it Rat and joked about it. 
     

    my 94 year old Dad has just been diagnosed with a recurrence, 13 years after his original cancer was treated successfully with brachytherapy.  Normal PSA for 13 years, now suddenly back and in his bones already.  I'm also concerned for his quality of life - at 94 it's more important than length of time - he's been put on hormone therapy as a starter.

    good luck to your dad deciding, maybe worth a try and stop if too unpleasant? 
     

    claire