Hi I am also in complete devastation lost my dad 2 years ago found out today after lots of positive promises my mom cancer incurable devastated beyond belief I love the woman so much it hurts 

I'm waking up feeling horrible, get to work maybe switch off for an hour or two then it hits me. I'm ok after work as I go to see mum, but todays she's been really sleepy all day. I hope it's a tired day and not more deteriorating. I want her here, but I really do not want her to suffer. I hope I can stay strong and remember all the good things I. The future. 
it's tough seeing the change in the last few weeks. 
few weeks ago she was going up the stairs and walking to the toilet. Fast forward to today, we have hospice bed downstairs and mum needs help to get up to use the commode. Never could've have imagined this. Who knows how quick things can deteriorate. I'm so scared. 
 

we were given the meds for only injectable bu district nurse last week and told of syringe driver.... all these things freaked me out. 
 

my poor poor lovely mum, no one deserves to go through this cxxx

feel helpless. 
only in June was she driving me around inthe car. 

Hi there ..

So sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... life can be so crule .. 

My niece got the same diagnosis, so I know how heartbraking it all is .. all I can say is what we did .. take every day as a memory day, to be able to say all what's in your heart ... leave nothing unsaid ... she brought you into this world , held your hand to help you walk .. and watched you grow into a woman ..

Now it's time to hold her hand and help her on her journey... you won't loose her, you can keep her in your heart and she will see through your eyes .. you are half of her ... it's gonna be a hard long old road .. sadly there's no easy way through .. it's the price we pay to have loved so deeply..

So hold on in there .. know there's so many of us, that know how hard it is to loose a beloved mum ... sending you a vertual hug..  Chrissie x 

Thanks for your message. Today I've just felt really teary all day.

went to see mum for a couple of hours after work, will stay with her tomorrow night. She is so sleepy and sometimes a little confused, I want this to be the side effects of steroids and oromotph but I fear it s the deteriorating as well. This is so painful. I love my mum so much. I just hope I can be as strong as she was when she lived in her own when dad died. I hope I will always remember the good advice. I feel like a little girl, I'm in my 40s. I just can't bear to see the suffering it's heartbreaking. My mum keeps asking god to just take her. 
 

I don't want her to go, I just want my mum. But I know I can't change anything. 

Thanks for your message. Today I've just felt really teary all day.

went to see mum for a couple of hours after work, will stay with her tomorrow night. She is so sleepy and sometimes a little confused, I want this to be the side effects of steroids and oromotph but I fear it s the deteriorating as well. This is so painful. I love my mum so much. I just hope I can be as strong as she was when she lived in her own when dad died. I hope I will always remember the good advice. I feel like a little girl, I'm in my 40s. I just can't bear to see the suffering it's heartbreaking. My mum keeps asking god to just take her. 
 

I don't want her to go, I just want my mum. But I know I can't change anything.