How do you react to cancer clichés?

This week, YouGov published results of a poll which asked people about the cancer clichés and phrases that get on their nerves. Two thousand people took part and the results show how differently people react to this language. The poll found that most people hated being described as “cancer-stricken” or a “victim”, while calling a person’s diagnosis a “battle” or “war” was also disliked.

It can be hard to know what to say to people with Cancer, as words like “brave” or “inspirational” can come across as patronising.  We want to know how you like to be approached by others and what clichés really get under your skin.

  • Hi i think the worst a frend came round we wer chatting and out of the blue she said have you thought about pallative care liz had already said its incurable but treatable not what liz wanted to hear sadly it wasnt treatable at all 

  • After 2 mastectomies for lobal breast cancer and no reconstruction, my sister-in-law announced to a room full of people that “she preferred my new breasts to my old ones”. I have prosthetic breasts which I am as happy with as I would be with any other alternative but would far rather have had my “old breasts “ without having had cancer and not had to make a choice of what was the best solution for me after my cancer diagnosis. The comment, which I prefer to think was well intentioned, was extremely upsetting . 

    KiwiWife

  • So sorry, very tactless of her, even if 'well-intentioned'.  A good example of 'think before you speak' ! 

    Hope you are recovering well, sending best wishes.

    Hazel x

     

  • My personal hate is when uneducated people refer to melanoma as 'not real cancer ' or 'you just get it cut out and you're fine'. More education is needed to show people that melanoma is just as serious and potentially fatal as all other cancers

  • I didnt get anything from hospital i went and found it myself support  .the one who said it is a real know it all theres me trying to give liz a feeling of hope and she comes out with that told her off for it but to late .i dont bother with her now  

  • Absolutly ive seen first hand the mistakes going on they say a bit of knowlege is a dangerouse thing but the ones say that are the drs so you dont see how poor they are having said that a lot are good

  • Ohhhh yes - identical situation but DID have reconstruction and was told "Oh wow - they look almost real - how lucky were you to get a boob job for free"  oh heck - I must be the luckiest woman EVER!!

  • My worst one was from a colleague who asked "have you considered going onto an alkali diet? I read in a magazine that it's better than chemo, I mean why would you put poison into your body?"

    Even worse was the fact that I was working in the NHS at the time. I came close to breaching the Code of Conduct and zero tolerance of abuse when slowly and in detail I explained in no uncertain terms why I trusted my Oncologist's recommendations (based on a 5 year degree course, 5 years as a junior doctor and 10 years as a consultant oncologist) more than a second hand recommendation from a journalist in a magazine! 

  • Sorry but the whole StandUp2Cancer "let's kick cancer's butt" approach really jars my senses! 

    Crass, patronising and mid-Atlantic only starts to describe my feelings about this!

  • Your right there i wish they would stop bombarding us with cancer please give money ads it never gives any poor sufferer or griever a break for a minute .paul