Hi. My wife passed away on Thursday after a horrible cancer battle over the past 6 months and to be honest I have thought exactly the same as you, what's the point now. Life will never be the same again, I can't cope, I don't want to be here. I have a twin boy and girl who are also being extremely stoical as they don't want to add extra upset to me but inadvertently they are as I am really concerned about their state of mind etc. I guess the reason I am writing beyond your loss is to say I went through a period in my early 20s of serious self harm. I had major issues with my parents etc but through counselling etc I managed to get to the other side. Years on I am glad I am still here as at least I have something in the seriously dark times to focus on....my kids. I 100% understand the thoughts in your head as even saying what I have I could go backwards and go down a dark path again but there simply is nothing to be gained from that. After each 'event' the next day I felt even worse so I would say seek out the right person to talk to as self harm / thoughts of it are understandable but you can overcome them. Ultimately all you will be doing is piling on the pain to your partner and your kids. It's very hard not to be selfish when you feel at your lowest but if you have love and children make the most of it. Best wishes and stay safe. James

Im so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your message.  I dont mean to feel this way as i feel bad that i should be focusing on my loving family and theyre the only thing stopping me from doing anything when i feel like i really dont care sometimes, as selfish and horrible as it sounds. My chest hurts all the time. If i didnt know what a broken heart feels like, i do now xxx

Im so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your message.  I dont mean to feel this way as i feel bad that i should be focusing on my loving family and theyre the only thing stopping me from doing anything when i feel like i really dont care sometimes, as selfish and horrible as it sounds. My chest hurts all the time. If i didnt know what a broken heart feels like, i do now xxx