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I miss my mum so much

RSxo
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I've posted a few times on here, but a little background: my mum passed away on the 31st March 2021, 7 weeks after diagnosis from bowel cancer, she was only 55.

I miss my mum so much. That feeling of emptiness never seems to go away. I think of my mum constantly, literally all the time, it consumes my mind, to the extent I feel like I am going crazy. 
 

At the same time, I still feel the worst part of my grief is yet to come. Don't get me wrong, I do cry. But I feel like it's not as much as I would've anticipated prior to losing my mum. I feel it's the calm before the storm. I'm currently in survival mode. 
I'm petrified when it does finally hit. I won't survive. Because the pain I am feeling currently, is unbearable within itself. 
 

It's just so hard. It's been nearly 3 months. 1/4 of a year. But I'm stuck in this limbo, this pain. I can't seem to move forward. 
 

I feel like nothing will make this better. The only thing that can make this better is my mum, and sadly she will never be able to make it better. 
 

I just can't believe she's gone. How am I meant to live the rest of my life without her? I'm only in my 20's. 
 

I miss her so much. 

 

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    Hi [@RSxo]‍ 

    I'm sad to hear of your mum. I feel that losing a mum is one of the worst bereavements ever. You have lost that one person who brought you into the world, loved you unconditionally and would do anything to protect you, sadly that can never be replaced and so my heart goes out to you. My situation almost mirrors yours(apart from our ages), my mum died on the 23rd March 5 weeks after diagnosis. I miss her incredibly and life is tough. Like [@Dexter123]‍ i am also having bereavement  counseling. I thought I was grieving but I wasn't so I reached out for help. Nothing could have prepared me for the outpouring of emotions that I had during my first counseling session- I cried and cried and cried. However, the counseling has helped considerably and I feel it is very important to talk to someone. 

    I would never forcibly push anyone to do anything they didn't want to, but if you are struggling, I do suggest you ask your GP for help/ advice / possible counseling. Also, our mums only died 3 months ago, it's no time at all and it's perfectly natural that you should be feeling the way you do. 

     

    Xxxx

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    Hi [@RSxo]‍ 

    I'm sad to hear of your mum. I feel that losing a mum is one of the worst bereavements ever. You have lost that one person who brought you into the world, loved you unconditionally and would do anything to protect you, sadly that can never be replaced and so my heart goes out to you. My situation almost mirrors yours(apart from our ages), my mum died on the 23rd March 5 weeks after diagnosis. I miss her incredibly and life is tough. Like [@Dexter123]‍ i am also having bereavement  counseling. I thought I was grieving but I wasn't so I reached out for help. Nothing could have prepared me for the outpouring of emotions that I had during my first counseling session- I cried and cried and cried. However, the counseling has helped considerably and I feel it is very important to talk to someone. 

    I would never forcibly push anyone to do anything they didn't want to, but if you are struggling, I do suggest you ask your GP for help/ advice / possible counseling. Also, our mums only died 3 months ago, it's no time at all and it's perfectly natural that you should be feeling the way you do. 

     

    Xxxx

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