Hi [@RSxo]‍ 

I'm so sorry about the loss of your Mum. 55 is such an incredibly young age and 7 weeks is such a short time to get your head around what was happening.

I lost my Dad 17 years ago, when he was only 52 and I just lost my Mum last month to lung cancer. She was 68, but that still feels so young to me. She was so active and full of life before her diagnosis.

I'm no stranger to loss or death but this past month has been the hardest month of my life. I also feel empty and find it difficult to think of anything but my Mum every second of every day. You are not alone in how you're feeling and you are definitely not going crazy. I'm currrently speaking to a bereavement counsellor who has told me the death of a mother is one of the worst things we can experience in our lifetime and the pain of this is intense. Allow yourself to feel everything right now, cry when you need to, don't expect too much of yourself and most importantly, be kind to yourself. Three months is still in the very early stages of your grieving process.

I feel the same as you - how am I ever going to live the rest of my life without her? How am I ever going to be able to carry this pain with me forever? I'm 32 and it feels so young to lose your Mum as I still have my whole life ahead of me and need her guidance. I've found some comfort speaking to others on this forum who are in the later stages of grieving, years down the line, and they have said that time does heal. We will always, always miss our Mums but we will begin to manage without them, as much as we don't want to.

One thing that my bereavement counsellor has talked to me about, which I have found helpful is carrying my Mum with me. What would my Mum say to me right now in this situation? What would she want for me right now if she were here? What qualities do I see in myself that I have inherited from her that make me feel close to her right now? Thinking these things during my really low moments have made me feel closer to my Mum but I know everyone is different and what may be helpful to some won't be to others.

I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, as I can empthise with how you feel and it is incredibly hard. No one will ever understand unless they have been through it themselves, which unfortunately so many on this forum have. We're all just trying our best to support each other however we can.

I'm here if you need to chat/vent.

Look after yourself,

J

Hiya,

first of all lots of love to you, I know it's hard and I am not going to say I know what you are going through as it's probably the last thing you want to hear. I'm not going to say it gets easier and time is a good healer as again it's probably the last thing you want to hear.

It's coming up to nearly 3 years since my Mum died from Cancer. We had 6 months with Mum after she was diagnosed. My sister was 24 at the time and I was 33.

I think I lived about a year and half in my own world. I thought I hadn't changed but as I look back I had. I cried so much, would constantly talk about Mum and re-live each stage from being diagnosed up to the day Mum died.

I know it's hard and I still cry now and I don't expect to stop crying until the day I finally die myself. 
 

It is something that will stay with you for life but I found talking helped and taking small steps. The pain never goes away but talking helped me. It might be too soon for you at the moment so take your time and remember there is no time limit on grief and those who think there is are being silly. 

keep those memories you shared together in your head and remember your Mum loves you and is with you always. 
 

Hi [@RSxo]‍ 

I'm sad to hear of your mum. I feel that losing a mum is one of the worst bereavements ever. You have lost that one person who brought you into the world, loved you unconditionally and would do anything to protect you, sadly that can never be replaced and so my heart goes out to you. My situation almost mirrors yours(apart from our ages), my mum died on the 23rd March 5 weeks after diagnosis. I miss her incredibly and life is tough. Like [@Dexter123]‍ i am also having bereavement  counseling. I thought I was grieving but I wasn't so I reached out for help. Nothing could have prepared me for the outpouring of emotions that I had during my first counseling session- I cried and cried and cried. However, the counseling has helped considerably and I feel it is very important to talk to someone. 

I would never forcibly push anyone to do anything they didn't want to, but if you are struggling, I do suggest you ask your GP for help/ advice / possible counseling. Also, our mums only died 3 months ago, it's no time at all and it's perfectly natural that you should be feeling the way you do. 

Xxxx

This is so amazing to read - I'm so sorry for both of you going through this. I'm at the very start of my grief - my mum died yesterday from ovarian cancer and I am in such pain.

The advice from your counsellor makes perfect sense - I'm going to write it down to try and make sure i remember it in the coming weeks and months. 

Sending all my love to you xx

Hi,

I just want to say I'm so sorry for your loss. From the bottom of my heart I understand this pain and numbness. I lost my mum the day before to cancer. Although her battle was longer it made it no easier. Every emotion, every feeling you've described I see in myself. I've lost my best friend, my safety and comfort, my home. And I'm so scared of the world. 
I feel so empty and just craving emotion yet im fearing the day reality hits and grief truely sets in. I don't really know what im saying

i know im not much help but maybe there is some comfort in knowing that we're not alone on this journey. We don't know each other and there's probably many more like us, heartbroken and missing our mums, but we are strong people, they'd want us to be.  I just want to tell you I understand you, our paths will look different, grief hits us in different stages at different times but never will it be easy. Take care of yourself, take time out. Focus on yourself and do what you need to do. Make memories for them but most importantly for you. 
If ever you do find a way to help and ease the pain or be able to understand it more, I would love to hear it.

best wishes to you, I hope you find some comfort somewhere within this process 

xx

My heart aches. My beautiful mom passed away in May. I can't breathe, function or speak. I can't believe that I will never see her again.

My beautiful mom. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer in December. She suffered so much pain. It was so painful to see. I would have given anything for it to have been me x The only thing keeping me going is that she is not suffering and I know she is looking down on me saying I love you x She is with me, I can feel her around me. I speak too her all the time. 

I feel like I'm looking down on myself, watching myself coping, day to day x

Hi Cooksot,

I just wanted to send a reply to welcome you to the forum and to send condolences for your loss. You must have had an unbelievably tough few months.

You've posted on a supportive thread here so I'm sure you'll receive further replies soon. You can always create a new discussion on the forum anytime, should you wish to. I hope the forum can offer some support to you, even if it's just a case of writing things down and reaching out to others.

Try to take things a day at a time and I hope that things gradually begin to feel more manageable.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you Ben x

I've lost my best friend, the love of my life, I can't breathe think or see tomorrow

I watched my beautiful mom suffer. My heart aches x

I feel the same as you all.  I feel I not only lost my mum, best friend,  and soul mate but I also lost the place that was my home & refuge. I do feel quite suicidal at times especially if I'm drunk so I'm trying to be careful with drinking. Thing is,  I don't want to die I just want mum back here, alive and healthy. MND ravaged my gorgeous mum and made her suffer.. but why?! I feel so so angry sometimes! I could have had her for much longer and I really really need her. I don't understand why life has to contain so much pain for some. I am trying some days when i can manage to function but behind any laugh or smile I can muster is heartbreak and a feeling of desolation inside. 

Hi Catwin

I also lost my mum to ovarian cancer, how long after diagnosis did you have with your mum?

It's so helpful looking on this forum and seeing people have experienced similar but are so strong!

Sending lots of love 

xx