My dear Mum: 3 days from diagnosis to death

I don't really know how to express how I feel right now, I'm still in a state of disbelief that I could lose my mum so suddenly. Apart from a swelling on her neck that caused her not to sleep so well (and prompted a hospital appointment to see what it was) she seemed fit and well. She then began feeling breathless, had scans on Tuesday at the hospital, was told by her doctor the next day that the scans found a mass in her chest that was likely cancer and then she died on Saturday. Only 3 days later. I really thought she would be ok. I convinced myself that because she had began feeling poorly for only a short time that we had caught the cancer early and she would be ok. She died of cardiac tamponade, fluid had built up around her heart as a result of the cancer. We are still waiting on definite answers but were told at the hospital following her death that it's very likely she had a very aggressive form of lung cancer and prognosis would have been poor but I keep thinking if we had only just got her to hospital sooner she would still be with us. She was only 68 and full of life. It's hard to come to terms with her not being with us any longer. I'm 32 and have now lost both my parents.

Has anyone had experience with a sudden death from cancer like this? I'm just struggling to believe it's possible but know this disease is cruel and unfair.

Parents
  • Hi,

    im living through a very similar experience, I lost my mum 4 weeks ago today! 
    My mum was fine 3 weeks before she died! Then she came down with what we thought was a bit of a virus! She struggled getting up and about and was short of breath! The shortness of breath wasn’t unusual for her, although she had no health issues it’s just something that had happened to her over the years and in all honesty I put it down to lack of getting out and exercise! 
    in the end as she was refusing to see a dr I took her to hospital thinking she may need Iv antibiotics! We was told she had lung cancer and it had spread, that was Tuesday! She died on the Friday morning! She deteriorated the second I took her in there. I never got a last conversation where I felt she was fully aware, I’m just totally devastated and in shock! I lost my dad also 10 years ago, and I’m an only child! My mum had only turned 71 the week before she died! I feel cheated, I’m 36 years old, and although I have a husband and 2 children I feel suddenly very alone! 

Reply
  • Hi,

    im living through a very similar experience, I lost my mum 4 weeks ago today! 
    My mum was fine 3 weeks before she died! Then she came down with what we thought was a bit of a virus! She struggled getting up and about and was short of breath! The shortness of breath wasn’t unusual for her, although she had no health issues it’s just something that had happened to her over the years and in all honesty I put it down to lack of getting out and exercise! 
    in the end as she was refusing to see a dr I took her to hospital thinking she may need Iv antibiotics! We was told she had lung cancer and it had spread, that was Tuesday! She died on the Friday morning! She deteriorated the second I took her in there. I never got a last conversation where I felt she was fully aware, I’m just totally devastated and in shock! I lost my dad also 10 years ago, and I’m an only child! My mum had only turned 71 the week before she died! I feel cheated, I’m 36 years old, and although I have a husband and 2 children I feel suddenly very alone! 

Children
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