My dear Mum: 3 days from diagnosis to death

I don't really know how to express how I feel right now, I'm still in a state of disbelief that I could lose my mum so suddenly. Apart from a swelling on her neck that caused her not to sleep so well (and prompted a hospital appointment to see what it was) she seemed fit and well. She then began feeling breathless, had scans on Tuesday at the hospital, was told by her doctor the next day that the scans found a mass in her chest that was likely cancer and then she died on Saturday. Only 3 days later. I really thought she would be ok. I convinced myself that because she had began feeling poorly for only a short time that we had caught the cancer early and she would be ok. She died of cardiac tamponade, fluid had built up around her heart as a result of the cancer. We are still waiting on definite answers but were told at the hospital following her death that it's very likely she had a very aggressive form of lung cancer and prognosis would have been poor but I keep thinking if we had only just got her to hospital sooner she would still be with us. She was only 68 and full of life. It's hard to come to terms with her not being with us any longer. I'm 32 and have now lost both my parents.

Has anyone had experience with a sudden death from cancer like this? I'm just struggling to believe it's possible but know this disease is cruel and unfair.

Parents
  • Sorry to hear about everyone's losses on here.  I am just coming up to to 3 months from losing my soulmate to this horrible disease.  My Danielle (38 years old) seemed perfectly healthy, loving life with each other and the kids and then she started to feel unwell in September 2021.  


    We went for a CT and biopsy of a mass that was found on her bowl and we were told on the 7th October 2021 she was terminal.  This rare and aggressive cancer had spread to every organ in her abdomen and the only option was to prolong life through chemotherapy straight away.

     

    Sadly, we didn't get to make the first appointment, as the love of my life passed away in my arms only 5 days after diagnosis (12th October 2021).  Seeing Danielle take her final breaths was the hardest thing I've ever done.  I only hope that holding her In that moment, she knew I was still there with her and she was loved very much.


    I'm utterly devistated and struggling to hold everything together but I must for my daughter and Danielle's kids.  Not hearing her voice or feeling her touch, especially in the evenings when everything is quiet is tough.  I have good friends and family offering support but I find that I could be in a room with 100's caring people and still feel utterly alone.

     

    Life just seems to be so cruel and I will never understand why, why my Danielle...

Reply
  • Sorry to hear about everyone's losses on here.  I am just coming up to to 3 months from losing my soulmate to this horrible disease.  My Danielle (38 years old) seemed perfectly healthy, loving life with each other and the kids and then she started to feel unwell in September 2021.  


    We went for a CT and biopsy of a mass that was found on her bowl and we were told on the 7th October 2021 she was terminal.  This rare and aggressive cancer had spread to every organ in her abdomen and the only option was to prolong life through chemotherapy straight away.

     

    Sadly, we didn't get to make the first appointment, as the love of my life passed away in my arms only 5 days after diagnosis (12th October 2021).  Seeing Danielle take her final breaths was the hardest thing I've ever done.  I only hope that holding her In that moment, she knew I was still there with her and she was loved very much.


    I'm utterly devistated and struggling to hold everything together but I must for my daughter and Danielle's kids.  Not hearing her voice or feeling her touch, especially in the evenings when everything is quiet is tough.  I have good friends and family offering support but I find that I could be in a room with 100's caring people and still feel utterly alone.

     

    Life just seems to be so cruel and I will never understand why, why my Danielle...

Children
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