Hi, 

What on earth can I say to even get close to what you are feeling right now. Loss is horrific, no other way to put it.

Reason I am posting on here is because my husband has just finished treatment ( for now! ) for oesophageal cancer.

Your post caught my eye as something similar happened in our family a few yrs ago.

It was my Nana. No real run up, reasonably fit and active. She effectively was diagnosed on a Monday, with being unable to stop coughing and gone by the Wednesday. So yes it is very possible.

I feel a little awkward about the words I am using and what I am trying to say, it is not the same experience as you are having as mother is of a different mangnitude entirely to grandmother and her age was almost a 'comfort' oh blimey I am struggling trying to find the right ways of phrasing this- sorry.

Grief is such an intense beast, there are no right or wrong emotions. I remember reading something about stages by someone called Kubler- Ross ( I think) and I suppose it does show how intense and dramatic bearevment is. Bargaining - " if we did A  would it have made a difference", that is definitely one of the things that is mentioned. 
Right now you will probably be experiencing every emotion known to mankind- it really is okay not to be okay.

please do know that you are not alone.

Hilts

Hi Dexter,

im sorry to hear you too have lost a mum at a young ages of 68.

I too lost my mum in February to lung cancer but had spread to her Brain, I knew my mum was seriously ill for 17 days before she passed away. I have days I feel I'm in a complete bubble with the shock of losing my mum with no warning at all. My mum was just living her normal life but became slightly unwell end of December / January but nothing of concern as my mum just carried on regardless! I miss my mum so much I struggle to even talk about how much she meant to me. My mum had just turned 70 before passing ...and because she was in hospital I wasn't allowed to she her on her last birthday. I only had 7 days of being with my mum from her diagnose as the first 10 days she was in hospital and I wasn't allowed to visit her. My mum passed away at home two days after getting her home with us. I don't no how I'm ever gunna manage without her, if I'm honest. I'm sorry I can't offer much more but be assured many of us on here are going through similar losses and we all just trying to support each other anyway we can.

please message me if you want to chat more 

take care

lisa 

hi

im in the same boat about my dad ,diagnosis from bowel cancer to dying two days later and just still has me why , how .. 9 weeks on and im like what happened like it was a bad nightmare..

Two years ago my best friend phoned me to say that a week previously he had been diagnosed with cancer and that it was terminal. He thought he had months left to live, but we arranged anyway to meet up the next weekend. After work on Friday, I was about to get on the train to his when his parents texted to say he had died that day, two weeks after diagnosis. He was 31. I can't describe the shock I felt. I knew I had to phone his parents at once, but for some reason couldn't make the call inside my house. I had to go out into the yard. I made the call and then I walked back to work because I knew there would be late workers there and I didn't want to be alone. I know the loss of my friend still gets to me, to the point I've joined this forum two years later. He died of lung cancer despite never having smoked, so it couldn't have been more unexpected. That said, he wasn't the first person I had ever known to die suddenly of cancer: ten years before, my god-father died 3 weeks after diagnosis. His was a liver cancer. He was in his 50s. So I can tell you that you are not alone in losing someone suddenly to cancer. It's a club no one wants to join. It's still early days for you, so just hang in there. If you are anything like me, you will need to beware of two dates in particular: the first anniversary of your mum's death and her first posthumous birthday. On what would have been my friend's 32nd, I had an experience so like a heart attack someone called an ambulance, but it was just my body telling me to take my emotions seriously, because I had been trying to power on through. Be kind to yourself and don't be shy to ask for time off work or other responsibilities at the times you need it.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply to me. My heart breaks that I am not the only one to have gone through this, life seems oh so very unfair, however I find it strangely comforting that I am not alone. None of my friends have been through anything like this and still have both parents and they just don't know what to say or how to act.

It is now just over 3 weeks since my Mum's death and I'm still waiting to wake up from this bad dream. I was supposed to go back to work today but couldn't face it and have asked for an extended sick note from my doctor. I don't know how life will ever feel normal again.

It's just heartbreaking seeing a parent deteriorate so quickly. I keep thinking how scared my Mum must have been to fall so ill so suddenly. There is so much I wish I could have told her before she passed and it pains me that she was alone when she died. No one could go with her in the ambulance to the hospital because of Covid restrictions. I miss her so much it hurts and even the most simple of tasks feels like a chore right now. I'm hoping things get easier as more time passes but right now I just want to wake up from this nightmare 

It really is heartbreaking and unless you have been through it I don't think it's possible to grasp how horrendous it is. 
I know exactly what you mean about the simplest tasks. I'm nearly 6 months in and by no means has the pain gone but you do manage those simple tasks again. 
I still have days whereby I can't see the point of doing anything but I know my Dad would not have wanted that and I'm sure your lovely Mom wouldn't have wanted that for you . 
Covid made things so much harder.

Hi all it's awful that we are all experiencing this my dad (my king) had Lung cancer managed to shrink it down with radio therapy to then find out it was growing back with an attitude fast forward 6-7 months on immunotherapy and we get the appointment on his 70th birthday 24/02 this year that treatment has stopped there's nothing else can be done due to another one forming with in the cancer that was on the Thursday by Saturday we had to rush him in to hospice I got the next day with him before being told he had covid on admission I couldn't go back due to the fact I lived with him for the last 2 months caring for him.

My sister his step daughter stayed by his side I tried my hardest to try get him home but it was already happening the driver was put on and I could only be there through face time , the last night I went of line told dad over face time (not that he was able to comprehend) that I would be calling at 7 in morning and to get rest. The only comfort I get is he waited for me,I called at 7 and new stuff was happening  I told him it's time to begin that next adventure and that I'll be fine and that I love him . It then happened I couldn't believe how quick from one appointment to the next day could change things.

what I didn't realise at the time is i wouldn't be fine yes I put on a brave face and do day to day things with my 5 children but at night when I lay in bed crying myself to sleep I'm really not. 
That's when I turn to these posts and see how others are coping not coping asking questions giving advice It comforts me in a way because only you no or are experiencing how I am really feeling and how I'm feeling is actually normal.part of the grieving process 

suppose what im trying to say is read up read everything get help get support ask questions we are the ones that live it or lived support each other no age can prepare us at 35 im still learning the process and will probably never know how to grieve but will have to learn to live with it so just wanted to put a message up of support

Hiya my husband died from sudden death he had stage 4 non small cell lung cancer  and had fluid around the heart he was also 68 I went to take him up a cup of tea and he had passed away November 11th 2020 lv annie x