Two years ago my best friend phoned me to say that a week previously he had been diagnosed with cancer and that it was terminal. He thought he had months left to live, but we arranged anyway to meet up the next weekend. After work on Friday, I was about to get on the train to his when his parents texted to say he had died that day, two weeks after diagnosis. He was 31. I can't describe the shock I felt. I knew I had to phone his parents at once, but for some reason couldn't make the call inside my house. I had to go out into the yard. I made the call and then I walked back to work because I knew there would be late workers there and I didn't want to be alone. I know the loss of my friend still gets to me, to the point I've joined this forum two years later. He died of lung cancer despite never having smoked, so it couldn't have been more unexpected. That said, he wasn't the first person I had ever known to die suddenly of cancer: ten years before, my god-father died 3 weeks after diagnosis. His was a liver cancer. He was in his 50s. So I can tell you that you are not alone in losing someone suddenly to cancer. It's a club no one wants to join. It's still early days for you, so just hang in there. If you are anything like me, you will need to beware of two dates in particular: the first anniversary of your mum's death and her first posthumous birthday. On what would have been my friend's 32nd, I had an experience so like a heart attack someone called an ambulance, but it was just my body telling me to take my emotions seriously, because I had been trying to power on through. Be kind to yourself and don't be shy to ask for time off work or other responsibilities at the times you need it.

Two years ago my best friend phoned me to say that a week previously he had been diagnosed with cancer and that it was terminal. He thought he had months left to live, but we arranged anyway to meet up the next weekend. After work on Friday, I was about to get on the train to his when his parents texted to say he had died that day, two weeks after diagnosis. He was 31. I can't describe the shock I felt. I knew I had to phone his parents at once, but for some reason couldn't make the call inside my house. I had to go out into the yard. I made the call and then I walked back to work because I knew there would be late workers there and I didn't want to be alone. I know the loss of my friend still gets to me, to the point I've joined this forum two years later. He died of lung cancer despite never having smoked, so it couldn't have been more unexpected. That said, he wasn't the first person I had ever known to die suddenly of cancer: ten years before, my god-father died 3 weeks after diagnosis. His was a liver cancer. He was in his 50s. So I can tell you that you are not alone in losing someone suddenly to cancer. It's a club no one wants to join. It's still early days for you, so just hang in there. If you are anything like me, you will need to beware of two dates in particular: the first anniversary of your mum's death and her first posthumous birthday. On what would have been my friend's 32nd, I had an experience so like a heart attack someone called an ambulance, but it was just my body telling me to take my emotions seriously, because I had been trying to power on through. Be kind to yourself and don't be shy to ask for time off work or other responsibilities at the times you need it.