Hi Lyns,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I read your post and I really identified with it. My dad died over the summer and I miss him so much. It would have been his birthday next week and - as you say - if you had told me last year that my dad wouldn't be here now I wouldn't have believed you. It just feels like the last year has been a nightmare.

I am 35 and my dad was such a support to me too. And it feels so ironic that he isn't here when I feel I need him the most. 

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone and you aren't the only one that feels this way. I felt particularly overwhelmed after the funeral too. For what it is worth, I still feel very sad six months down the line, but it does come and go, and I do find it easier to get through the day. I hope things feel easier for you too with time. Thinking of you - and your dad. He sounds like a very special person. 

Thank you so much for your reply Sophie. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss too. The last year really does feel like a nightmare that I just can't wake up from. 
I thought I might feel a bit better (although I'm not sure I'll ever feel better, but I'm sure you know what I mean) after the funeral -  but I think I'd melt myself so busy organising that and writing the words I was going to say, that I didn't really think about what would happen after. It feels as though that was the last chance to do something for my Dad and now I just have nothing and people will expect me to move on and be ok. 
I feel like I did the day that we heard there was no more they could do for him - that punch in the stomach feeling when you know that things won't be the same again. 
 

It is so ironic that this is when we'd turn to them for support isn't it. For a tiny split second today I forgot and thought - oh Sid better text Dad and then you get that feeling all over again. 
I know I'll have better days - I just need to take today as not one of those days and see what tomorrow brings I guess. 
 

Family are telling me to be strong - but I've no idea how to be. 
 

I really do appreciate you replying - I know it's hard to talk about it - but it's nice to talk to someone who understands. 
 

I hope you have people to support you on your Dads birthday as (even if hugs are pretty limited at the moment) - every anniversary feels tough doesn't it. 
look after yourself and thank you again 

Thank you so much for your reply Sophie. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss too. The last year really does feel like a nightmare that I just can't wake up from. 
I thought I might feel a bit better (although I'm not sure I'll ever feel better, but I'm sure you know what I mean) after the funeral -  but I think I'd melt myself so busy organising that and writing the words I was going to say, that I didn't really think about what would happen after. It feels as though that was the last chance to do something for my Dad and now I just have nothing and people will expect me to move on and be ok. 
I feel like I did the day that we heard there was no more they could do for him - that punch in the stomach feeling when you know that things won't be the same again. 
 

It is so ironic that this is when we'd turn to them for support isn't it. For a tiny split second today I forgot and thought - oh Sid better text Dad and then you get that feeling all over again. 
I know I'll have better days - I just need to take today as not one of those days and see what tomorrow brings I guess. 
 

Family are telling me to be strong - but I've no idea how to be. 
 

I really do appreciate you replying - I know it's hard to talk about it - but it's nice to talk to someone who understands. 
 

I hope you have people to support you on your Dads birthday as (even if hugs are pretty limited at the moment) - every anniversary feels tough doesn't it. 
look after yourself and thank you again