Hello worriedsis, 

First of all I am so sorry for your loss - it must have been really traumatic for you to watch your sister suffering and I can understand why you are feeling haunted by these memories. It does sound like it would be a good idea for you to reach out and get some professional help so that you don't keep having those unbearable flashbacks and you can gradually learn to get through the day. I am sure your family will not mind that you talk to them about it even if they themselves are going through the same and don't worry I am sure it will not drag them down to listen to you. It may on the contrary be a good thing that you can open up about it and that they can also share with you how they have been feeling since your sister passed away. 

There are counsellors who actually specialise in grief counselling and even though as you say they didn't meet your sister in person, they will have the expertise to guide you and to help you, with time, feel a little better. You could talk to a GP first about this if you wish and discuss whether it would be beneficial for you to talk to a grief counsellor. 

You have done the right thing to come here and get all this off your chest. I hope it will help you to reach out to others who understand what you are going through at the moment and the complex emotions involved during the grieving process. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and you may be interested to read more on the subject on our website here. 

I will now let our other members who have also lost a loved one to cancer come and say hello and share their own personal grieving journeys with you. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and we are all here for you anytime you wish to talk to others who understand how you are feeling.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello worriedsis, 

First of all I am so sorry for your loss - it must have been really traumatic for you to watch your sister suffering and I can understand why you are feeling haunted by these memories. It does sound like it would be a good idea for you to reach out and get some professional help so that you don't keep having those unbearable flashbacks and you can gradually learn to get through the day. I am sure your family will not mind that you talk to them about it even if they themselves are going through the same and don't worry I am sure it will not drag them down to listen to you. It may on the contrary be a good thing that you can open up about it and that they can also share with you how they have been feeling since your sister passed away. 

There are counsellors who actually specialise in grief counselling and even though as you say they didn't meet your sister in person, they will have the expertise to guide you and to help you, with time, feel a little better. You could talk to a GP first about this if you wish and discuss whether it would be beneficial for you to talk to a grief counsellor. 

You have done the right thing to come here and get all this off your chest. I hope it will help you to reach out to others who understand what you are going through at the moment and the complex emotions involved during the grieving process. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and you may be interested to read more on the subject on our website here. 

I will now let our other members who have also lost a loved one to cancer come and say hello and share their own personal grieving journeys with you. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and we are all here for you anytime you wish to talk to others who understand how you are feeling.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator