Lost

My mum passed away last night. I am still in the turmoil of sorting everything out. Already fed up of relatives telling me how I feel and what I should be doing. I just feel lost. My mum was in so much pain and she was ready to go. She had had enough. I am relieved for her that she is out of pain. My life as it was is over. I have all sorts of emotions running through me. Relief that she is out of pain, guilt for silly arguments we had, fear of the future without her. I am on my own. I have a sibling and nephews and nieces but nobody 'gets' me like my mum. I was with her most of the time, especially in her last tough few weeks,  but I missed her last  twenty minutes as I was out of the room. I just got back for her last few breaths. I feel I let her down when she needed me the most and I can't bear to think of her alone and scared. I will never forgive myself for that.

 

Parents
  • Hello Juel1, 

    I am so sorry for your loss and wanted to send you our sincere condolences from the Cancer Chat team.  You definitely didn't let your mum down when you went out of the room for a few minutes - you definitely shouldn't blame yourself for that and I am sure your mum appreciated knowing that you were there for her. All those complex feelings are part of the difficult grieving process and you can read more about this on this page. Don't let anyone tell you how you should be feeling and what you should be doing. Grief is a very personal thing and there is no right or wrong way of grieving.

    You have come to the right place though to talk to others who have also lost a loved one to cancer and I hope you will get to talk to some of our lovely members here who have been in a similar place before. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Moderator Lucie,

    Thank you for your reply. It means so much that people care. I have been beginning to sort things out which I have found absolutely exhausting. There is so much to do regarding paperwork type things. It feels overwhelming. Sad to think so many people are going through the same thing.

    Juel1 xxxx

Reply
  • Hi Moderator Lucie,

    Thank you for your reply. It means so much that people care. I have been beginning to sort things out which I have found absolutely exhausting. There is so much to do regarding paperwork type things. It feels overwhelming. Sad to think so many people are going through the same thing.

    Juel1 xxxx

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