How do I stay focused at work with a terminally ill parent?

Hi, thank you to anyone who reads this.

My dad was recently diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer that's spread to his liver. He's having chemo, but it's apparently to prolong his life more than save it. I'm 23 and just hadn't comprehended having to deal with this any time soon. 

I have a very demanding job. I told my bosses and they've been very supportive, but since the diagnosis I've thrown myself into work as much as possible to keep myself occupied, so I think they've sort of forgotten about it. I think I'm only just now really processing the news and I suddenly keep feeling overwhelmed when people ask me to do anything remotely out my comfort zone. I randomly started crying this morning and had to jump off a Zoom meeting before anyone noticed. I don't want to make excuses for myself to my colleagues, but I don't know how to juggle my sadness and the demands of my job. 

If anyone has any suggestions about how best to handle this please let me know.

Thanks so much in advance 
 

 

Parents
  • Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost mine 20 months ago and have been where you are. I was pregnant with his first grandchild at the time who came along 2 weeks after he went to sleep (I was 31).
     

    I'm not entirely sure that I have any advice, but I do know one thing. You only have your dad once, you won't get this time back ever. Do you live with him or still see him because of Covid? If you do please please spend as much time with him as you can, I did and still it wasn't enough and wish I could go back every single day. 
     

    Are you working from home? I do remember being in the office and just breaking down, one minute you're busy and you almost forgot (If that's even possible) and the next it hits you again. 
    I suffered terribly with anticipatory grief, the anxiety of not knowing how or when it would eventually happen and the moment it did that went away. 
    Your work sound understanding and so they should be, concentrate as best you can, take time when you can and just get through one day at a time.

    if you're wfh then make sure you get out for fresh air as well, these times are depressing enough as it is let alone dealing with something as hard as this.  
     

    I still maintain if you haven't been through this you have absolutely no idea how it feels, you can't even imagine. 
     

    Sorry I went off on a tangent there, but I'm sending hugs. 

Reply
  • Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost mine 20 months ago and have been where you are. I was pregnant with his first grandchild at the time who came along 2 weeks after he went to sleep (I was 31).
     

    I'm not entirely sure that I have any advice, but I do know one thing. You only have your dad once, you won't get this time back ever. Do you live with him or still see him because of Covid? If you do please please spend as much time with him as you can, I did and still it wasn't enough and wish I could go back every single day. 
     

    Are you working from home? I do remember being in the office and just breaking down, one minute you're busy and you almost forgot (If that's even possible) and the next it hits you again. 
    I suffered terribly with anticipatory grief, the anxiety of not knowing how or when it would eventually happen and the moment it did that went away. 
    Your work sound understanding and so they should be, concentrate as best you can, take time when you can and just get through one day at a time.

    if you're wfh then make sure you get out for fresh air as well, these times are depressing enough as it is let alone dealing with something as hard as this.  
     

    I still maintain if you haven't been through this you have absolutely no idea how it feels, you can't even imagine. 
     

    Sorry I went off on a tangent there, but I'm sending hugs. 

Children
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