Hi, thanks so much for replying so quickly, that's made me feel better. Of course I know family is more important than a job, but it can be difficult to remember in the middle of a busy work day sometimes! I think more walks / breaks during the day to breathe is a good idea. 

I'm so so sorry to hear about your mum. Wishing you all the best 

Ho there ...

Adding to the lovely reply you've had ... I'd just have a word with a boss you get on with, and be honest with them .. tell them there's times you struggle with emotions ... and how occasionally you have to pull back ... work will help you not think too much, but even then something random can be said and the tears flow ... that's normal ... 

After I lost my mum and felt overwhelmed,  I mentally said over and over .. when I went to work , I'd leave those feelings at the front door, and pick it back up on the way out ... that way I knew home was a safe place to let those feelings out ... it worked most of the time ... but you still need someone there on side knowing how your feeling and coping there ... sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie x

Hi Purkey,

I've been reading a lot on these forums but hadn't yet signed up. I saw your post and had to reach out.

I lost my Dad four weeks ago, just after my 25th birthday. Like you, I have a very high demanding and face paced job. 
 

Firstly it's great you have a supportive boss! That really helps. Are you working from home at the moment or back to work? I starting working from home a lot more and whilst I had to work (I have to time record!), it was better just being in the presence of my Dad. 

I also found I'd work around Dad a lot more. I'd log in early and take a break when he needed me. I'd also work later into the evenings if Dad was asleep. I'm not sure how flexible your job is, but it may be worth asking if they could accommodate some flexible working. 
 

I'm not sure how relevant it may be to your work, but I'm also completing a masters degree. I record all of my lectures as I find I zone out a lot and think of Dad. I'm not sure whether you could perhaps apply this to your work if you have an important meeting?
 

In my role I send out legally binding documents so when I was finding things tough, I'd get somebody at work to proof read it in case I had made a mistake from where I'd got upset etc!

I hope this helps. Be kind to yourself x

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost mine 20 months ago and have been where you are. I was pregnant with his first grandchild at the time who came along 2 weeks after he went to sleep (I was 31).
 

I'm not entirely sure that I have any advice, but I do know one thing. You only have your dad once, you won't get this time back ever. Do you live with him or still see him because of Covid? If you do please please spend as much time with him as you can, I did and still it wasn't enough and wish I could go back every single day. 
 

Are you working from home? I do remember being in the office and just breaking down, one minute you're busy and you almost forgot (If that's even possible) and the next it hits you again. 
I suffered terribly with anticipatory grief, the anxiety of not knowing how or when it would eventually happen and the moment it did that went away. 
Your work sound understanding and so they should be, concentrate as best you can, take time when you can and just get through one day at a time.

if you're wfh then make sure you get out for fresh air as well, these times are depressing enough as it is let alone dealing with something as hard as this.  
 

I still maintain if you haven't been through this you have absolutely no idea how it feels, you can't even imagine. 
 

Sorry I went off on a tangent there, but I'm sending hugs.