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How do I stay focused at work with a terminally ill parent?

Purkey
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Hi, thank you to anyone who reads this.

My dad was recently diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer that's spread to his liver. He's having chemo, but it's apparently to prolong his life more than save it. I'm 23 and just hadn't comprehended having to deal with this any time soon. 

I have a very demanding job. I told my bosses and they've been very supportive, but since the diagnosis I've thrown myself into work as much as possible to keep myself occupied, so I think they've sort of forgotten about it. I think I'm only just now really processing the news and I suddenly keep feeling overwhelmed when people ask me to do anything remotely out my comfort zone. I randomly started crying this morning and had to jump off a Zoom meeting before anyone noticed. I don't want to make excuses for myself to my colleagues, but I don't know how to juggle my sadness and the demands of my job. 

If anyone has any suggestions about how best to handle this please let me know.

Thanks so much in advance 
 

 

Parents
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    Hi Purkey,

     

    I've been reading a lot on these forums but hadn't yet signed up. I saw your post and had to reach out.

     

    I lost my Dad four weeks ago, just after my 25th birthday. Like you, I have a very high demanding and face paced job. 
     

    Firstly it's great you have a supportive boss! That really helps. Are you working from home at the moment or back to work? I starting working from home a lot more and whilst I had to work (I have to time record!), it was better just being in the presence of my Dad. 

    I also found I'd work around Dad a lot more. I'd log in early and take a break when he needed me. I'd also work later into the evenings if Dad was asleep. I'm not sure how flexible your job is, but it may be worth asking if they could accommodate some flexible working. 
     

    I'm not sure how relevant it may be to your work, but I'm also completing a masters degree. I record all of my lectures as I find I zone out a lot and think of Dad. I'm not sure whether you could perhaps apply this to your work if you have an important meeting?
     

    In my role I send out legally binding documents so when I was finding things tough, I'd get somebody at work to proof read it in case I had made a mistake from where I'd got upset etc!

     

    I hope this helps. Be kind to yourself x

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    Hi Purkey,

     

    I've been reading a lot on these forums but hadn't yet signed up. I saw your post and had to reach out.

     

    I lost my Dad four weeks ago, just after my 25th birthday. Like you, I have a very high demanding and face paced job. 
     

    Firstly it's great you have a supportive boss! That really helps. Are you working from home at the moment or back to work? I starting working from home a lot more and whilst I had to work (I have to time record!), it was better just being in the presence of my Dad. 

    I also found I'd work around Dad a lot more. I'd log in early and take a break when he needed me. I'd also work later into the evenings if Dad was asleep. I'm not sure how flexible your job is, but it may be worth asking if they could accommodate some flexible working. 
     

    I'm not sure how relevant it may be to your work, but I'm also completing a masters degree. I record all of my lectures as I find I zone out a lot and think of Dad. I'm not sure whether you could perhaps apply this to your work if you have an important meeting?
     

    In my role I send out legally binding documents so when I was finding things tough, I'd get somebody at work to proof read it in case I had made a mistake from where I'd got upset etc!

     

    I hope this helps. Be kind to yourself x

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