Mac Millan Utterly disappointing

My partner and I were expecting our first baby together, 2 weeks overdue we bounced into Hospital for her to be induced only for the midwife at the hospital to find something wrong.

Forward just over an hour of arrival there we was in gynecology to be told my partner had cervical cancer.. our world literally fell apart. The next day the baby was delivered by Csection safe and healthy. A long story short, after misdiagnosis in treatment the cancer returned, opportunitys missed and delayed action and after two and a half years of fighting I lost my partner this week at the age of 32.

My daughter now two and a half has no mother, I have lost my wife and my 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship has lost her step mum and best friend..

I can honestly say we had "issues" with Mac Millan from the start. My late partner didnt get off to a great start with them, both she and myself found the first nurse lacking in any empathy and was unnecessary blunt. In all not really an attitude I had expected from a charity claiming to help and assist. My partner didnt like the nurse that much she ended up requesting a different nurse, which she got on with ok but the experience left her with little faith in Mac Millan.

I will however say the second nurse was nicer but as a FAMILY we have had ZERO support. 

At no point have Mac Millan offerd any aftercare for myself or my 2 children left behind in this mess nor contacted me since my partner passed.

Infact when I stated my eldest daughter at age 10 may need counselling in this stressful time I was basically told that until my partner had passed there was no care available ?

Why is there no immediate counselling available for the children or assistance to the families of cancer sufferers in palliative care ? 

What is the point in advertising support and then not giving any to the families, isnt it the families of cancer sufferers and survivors who generate hard earned donations also ?

Now she has passed ive heard nothing from Mac Millan.

no follow up with any family care even though I asked.

Infact... I think Mac Millan spend more time focusing on coffee mornings then cancer.

Cynthia Spencer however were completely Amazing at my partners end of life stage when transferred to the hospice.

The staff were incredible and the compassion was faultless.

They always had time for my partner as a patient but also offerd support and assistance to us as a family.

An example of what can be achieved when care is genuine.

If I have offended Mac Millan supporters within my experience and my late partner's I'm not sorry... it was utterly a disappointment and something I wish to forget just as quick as they forgot about us. 

  • Hi.

    Sorry you've been let down by uncaring helpers,as you say Macmillan spend ages asking for money but not helping people when they need it .

    I'm on palative care, have been since Feb 1016, I've asked Macmillan 3times for support but they consider I don't kneed it because im looking after my disabled wife, she has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's so plenty of work for me.

    We manage "just" especially when My meds are changed and dont know what im going to be like.

    Hope you can get something sorted to help all your family , there is help out there its just finding it .

    Hope others can give you some information what you need.

    Best wishes.

    Billy

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat OnelessAngel although I'm really sorry to read what has happened and on behalf of everyone who works on the moderation team I would like to offer you our sincerest and heartfelt condolences.

    I can't begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you and your children at the moment, especially when you have not received the support you were hoping for, and should have received, at this time.

    I know you've received a reply from one of our lovely regulars already but I have no doubt that many other members of our community will pop by when they can to offer their support and advice. 

    In the meantime Child Bereavement UK and Grief Encounter are both charities who offer help and support to children and their families that are greiving the loss of a loved one. The latter even has a brand new helpline called Grief Talk that you can contact between the hours of 9a.m - 9p.m if you need/want to talk to someone about what you're going through. Cruse bereavement care provide grief counselling and offer support after the death of someone close as well.

    I know it's not much but I really hope the resources I've provided are able to help you and your family on the tough road ahead.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  •  

    Oh my Billy,

    You're doing well for your age - 1016! Gave me a good laugh, which is just what I needed today.

    Thanks,

    Jolamine xx

  • Hi [@Jolamine]‍  .

    Didn't realize till you said, mind you sometimes I feel rather older than I am but not quite that old sometimes head is up in the clouds lately.

    Hope everything is going well with you and lockdown isn't messing you around to much.

    Love Billy xxxx

  • Dear OnelessAngel,

    I really get what you're saying. It's so hard for you.

    Please don't give up trying to find the help you need. And embrace all and anything you can.

    My best friend died in a hospital accident some time ago, leaving two small children (3 and 4) and her husband. It was unbelievably hard for them all. And I had to watch him struggling, it was so hard.

    Now, many years later, the family is thriving. Her children will always remember their mum, and they have asked me to fill in bits still. But it took time.

    I'm glad you came on here.

    Billy is brilliant, and Jolamine... and I'm not too bad either. We're here to listen.

    Keep on keeping on. The future may well hold really good stuff for you all. And please ask for help anytime you need it!

    Best wishes to you, 

    Mary

    Xxx

    Oh, and, by the way.... Billy is very VERY old! :D

  • hello 

    firstly sorry for your loss, when my step mum and dad were both dianosed with cancer, they had macmillion come round my dad was the most gentle placid man i have ever known and when i asked how the meeting had gone with them he said to me , im not having them in my house again they were condesending and not caring at all they were talking to us like we were 2 old stupid people ( dad was 68 at the time hardly old) ... 

    he got in contact with Sue Ryder who then sent someone out who were amazing .. they helped me nurse dad at home for 7 weeks when his wife passed away until my dad passed away, they were only a call away and would be out within the hour if needed or send a nurse out within 30mins.. 

     

    im not sayiong Macmillion are bad but i am saying if your not happy or dont like the nurse/doctor who would be responsible for your care look elsewhere, im so glad my dad went with his gut, my dad left Sue Ryder a gift in his will and ive just completed a 16mile memory walk raising money for them, i know if i called my dads cancer specialist from the hospice now for help or councelling it would be sorted within the week.. 

     

    Lease 

  • When I was diagnosed with cancer back in march 2020, I was introduced to a Macmillan nurse who they explained would be there to help support me through my cancer journey, it all sounded good, they were going to help sort out the application for extra finances, said they would ring me. Since then I've heard nothing from them, I tryed ringing them once but phone numbers never worked.  I'm sure many others have had good experiences.