Hi, Ive never posted before but lost my mum to cancer 9 weeks ago. I know everyone say's this, but she was my whole world and best friend, I lived with her my whole life. Living without her is unbareable, I have panic attacks and terrible anxiety all day, I feel I can't take it sometimes. All I want is to be with her, and hope I don't wake up in the morning. Then the nighmare starts again, and I dread the evening waiting for the next day. I have a brother snd sisters, but they were not close to mum and I honestly feel they havn't lost anything, whereas i've lost my whole world. They don't understand my utter grief and despair.  I don't have children or a partner, and really feel "what's the point of my life". The only hope I have is that we will be together again, but I can't bare the thought of it being too long. I just want her back, to hold her and hear her voice. Everything feels so frightening and I feel so alone without her. I have friends but they don't know how to help. I don't want medication, it will not bring her bavk. Ohh I just want you back mum, I miss you so much I just want you back x