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Every minute without my mum is unbareable I can't cope

Loubell
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Hi, Ive never posted before but lost my mum to cancer 9 weeks ago. I know everyone say's this, but she was my whole world and best friend, I lived with her my whole life. Living without her is unbareable, I have panic attacks and terrible anxiety all day, I feel I can't take it sometimes. All I want is to be with her, and hope I don't wake up in the morning. Then the nighmare starts again, and I dread the evening waiting for the next day. I have a brother snd sisters, but they were not close to mum and I honestly feel they havn't lost anything, whereas i've lost my whole world. They don't understand my utter grief and despair.  I don't have children or a partner, and really feel "what's the point of my life". The only hope I have is that we will be together again, but I can't bare the thought of it being too long. I just want her back, to hold her and hear her voice. Everything feels so frightening and I feel so alone without her. I have friends but they don't know how to help. I don't want medication, it will not bring her bavk. Ohh I just want you back mum, I miss you so much I just want you back x

Parents
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    Hiya love 

    I know how u feel it would be a year on Friday that I lost my mum to bowel cancer.it is so hard and I think about her every day.i too lived with her and my family and looked after her since she became poorly.I talk to her out the window every night and blow kisses up to her, its my way of coping I guess.I went to cruse counselling 2 months after we lost her and they were so lovely and it did help in time.I'm so sorry u r feeling the way u do losing someone so close it does hurts like hell.it does help to talk to people even if u don't know them or talking to family and helping each other.my dad brother and me talk about my mum all the time it helps even though we get upset.it's always good to talk.I learnt to let my grief out alot and still do.

    I've had my own challenge as well I was diagonised with breast cancer 5 months after losing my mum and had 18 wks of harsh chemo and just had op today.i kept thinking why have i got it why has cancer come after me.all I wanted was my mum too I just wanted a hug from her to tell me it will all be ok.

    Sending u big hugs

    xxx

     

  • Offline in reply to worried78

    Thank you for replying, i am so sorry you are going through what you are. The pain of missing out mums is overwhelming, my family are not interested but my friends are there for me thank goodness. Sending hugs back xx

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