Hi,

My dad died of lung cancer on 27th June so just over a month ago.

He had the same gasping and struggling for air in the lead up, at which time he was able to vocalise to us that initially it was frightening, but then he became accustomed to it. He was unable to cough up the mucous as it became too thick and this got caught and frightened him. It was more panick and agitation which scared him, and with morphine and patches to dry it up he became less frightened and was able to breathe more calmly. His breathing was very laboured and he had to really heave his chest, and his head had to spasm up in his sleep to catch a breath. I took his temp and checked on him for ages in his hospital bed at home ( Like Kazzan's mum, who posted earlier, my dad's spread to the spine and he was parylised so we cared for him at home). My mum was asleep on the floor on a mattress and I sat and watched him breathe cos I was worried.

The next day I asked if his breathing was better and if he realised it was hard overnight. He said he had no recollection of it. So that was a relief.

Then on the day he died the breathing was less frequent, but still difficult and now I realise it was the 'death rattle'. He will have had no concept of this happening as he was unconscious. I think most dying people get the strange breathing, but they are not aware of it,  but we as family see it and it distresses us because we care for them. 

So your dad will most likely not have been aware or had any pain with his breathing. The nurses give a syringe driver injection of strong morphine and anti-agitagion meds which calm the person down. My dad didn't need these strong ones, as he was already unconscious and wouldn't have been in any pain.

I hope my experience of my dad's death can help you understand your own dad's experience. I dont think they feel any pain as they lose consciousness and hopefully are given meds for pain/agitation if they are awake and need it.

My dad began to say there was no pain in the last few days when he was still awake. Whereas before when I would help turn and move him he would say be careful as his arm and back would hurt. So I think towards the end it's more distressing for family watching as we dont know or understand and cant ask them how they feel. 

I know what you mean though when people say it was peaceful, because the death rattle is upsetting. I hope that all helps somehow though. I kept thinking of it over and over, and after a month my traumatic thoughts have eased. Just know that these thoughts will ease, they did for me.

I hope you're okay.

Hi,

My dad died of lung cancer on 27th June so just over a month ago.

He had the same gasping and struggling for air in the lead up, at which time he was able to vocalise to us that initially it was frightening, but then he became accustomed to it. He was unable to cough up the mucous as it became too thick and this got caught and frightened him. It was more panick and agitation which scared him, and with morphine and patches to dry it up he became less frightened and was able to breathe more calmly. His breathing was very laboured and he had to really heave his chest, and his head had to spasm up in his sleep to catch a breath. I took his temp and checked on him for ages in his hospital bed at home ( Like Kazzan's mum, who posted earlier, my dad's spread to the spine and he was parylised so we cared for him at home). My mum was asleep on the floor on a mattress and I sat and watched him breathe cos I was worried.

The next day I asked if his breathing was better and if he realised it was hard overnight. He said he had no recollection of it. So that was a relief.

Then on the day he died the breathing was less frequent, but still difficult and now I realise it was the 'death rattle'. He will have had no concept of this happening as he was unconscious. I think most dying people get the strange breathing, but they are not aware of it,  but we as family see it and it distresses us because we care for them. 

So your dad will most likely not have been aware or had any pain with his breathing. The nurses give a syringe driver injection of strong morphine and anti-agitagion meds which calm the person down. My dad didn't need these strong ones, as he was already unconscious and wouldn't have been in any pain.

I hope my experience of my dad's death can help you understand your own dad's experience. I dont think they feel any pain as they lose consciousness and hopefully are given meds for pain/agitation if they are awake and need it.

My dad began to say there was no pain in the last few days when he was still awake. Whereas before when I would help turn and move him he would say be careful as his arm and back would hurt. So I think towards the end it's more distressing for family watching as we dont know or understand and cant ask them how they feel. 

I know what you mean though when people say it was peaceful, because the death rattle is upsetting. I hope that all helps somehow though. I kept thinking of it over and over, and after a month my traumatic thoughts have eased. Just know that these thoughts will ease, they did for me.

I hope you're okay.