I'm so sorry you are going through this . I will be in the same boat eventually , my mother has incurable ovarian cancer spread to the lung . It's heartbreaking I don't want to lose her , I have 4 kids also who are so close to her . It's breaking my heart and my heart breaks for you also .

i wish I could take the pain away for you , xxx

I am so sorry, it doesn't seem like long enough ago that I was browsing these forums in a similar position to you. My mum was first diagnosed with suspected ovarian in March, spread to pretty much everywhere. Lungs, liver, lymph nodes, liver and colon. Then she had a biopsy in April which told us it was bowel cancer. She had no symptoms of bowel cancer, none of the big ones anyway. It seems so unfair. All she had was sickness & nausea (which she thought was anxiety because my grandparents passed away three years ago within a month of each other and she was still battling to get over it), backache (she was a nurse and lifting people all day, and overweight so wrote that off too) and dizziness. She found a lump on her stomach in January which we all thought (including her GP) was an umbilical hernia. Then she got blood test results back, was sent to A&E with severe aneamia. Then my world just fell apart. 
 

I don't know your mum, but my advice if I could go back to your position would be don't listen to her. My mum tried to fight so hard, but for the first five weeks was in isolation because lockdown happened. She didn't eat for five weeks, she was too weak and she went down fast. By the time the hospital decided what kind of cancer she had, she was far too weak for any palliative chemo. 
 

if I could have those five weeks back I'd do everything so differently. I'd have marched over there and made her come and stay with me, even through her protests of not wanting to. It might not have changed the outcome, but I relied far too much on the word of my mum who was desperately trying to protect me right until the end. I will always wonder. 
 

I repeat, I am so sorry - you're currently going through one of the hardest things you ever will. I hope with everything I am that you have so much time with your mum, even incurable cancer can be managed in the right circumstances, you could have lots of time. It won't seem like enough, I know. All I will say is love her harder than you've ever loved her, even through the random

spurts of anger and frustration you'll feel. Hold her close. This is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done, but there will be a whole new transcendent level of love you find for her. Which I know sounds kooky and impossible (or it did to me when somebody said it months ago, I didn't think I could love my mum more), you might not even realise until after she's gone. But as much as I miss her, I have no doubts as to how consumingly she loved me, nor I her and it's the biggest and possibly only comfort I'm finding right now. 
 

Sending all the love in the world Emma, for you and your mum and your children xxx

I am so sorry, it doesn't seem like long enough ago that I was browsing these forums in a similar position to you. My mum was first diagnosed with suspected ovarian in March, spread to pretty much everywhere. Lungs, liver, lymph nodes, liver and colon. Then she had a biopsy in April which told us it was bowel cancer. She had no symptoms of bowel cancer, none of the big ones anyway. It seems so unfair. All she had was sickness & nausea (which she thought was anxiety because my grandparents passed away three years ago within a month of each other and she was still battling to get over it), backache (she was a nurse and lifting people all day, and overweight so wrote that off too) and dizziness. She found a lump on her stomach in January which we all thought (including her GP) was an umbilical hernia. Then she got blood test results back, was sent to A&E with severe aneamia. Then my world just fell apart. 
 

I don't know your mum, but my advice if I could go back to your position would be don't listen to her. My mum tried to fight so hard, but for the first five weeks was in isolation because lockdown happened. She didn't eat for five weeks, she was too weak and she went down fast. By the time the hospital decided what kind of cancer she had, she was far too weak for any palliative chemo. 
 

if I could have those five weeks back I'd do everything so differently. I'd have marched over there and made her come and stay with me, even through her protests of not wanting to. It might not have changed the outcome, but I relied far too much on the word of my mum who was desperately trying to protect me right until the end. I will always wonder. 
 

I repeat, I am so sorry - you're currently going through one of the hardest things you ever will. I hope with everything I am that you have so much time with your mum, even incurable cancer can be managed in the right circumstances, you could have lots of time. It won't seem like enough, I know. All I will say is love her harder than you've ever loved her, even through the random

spurts of anger and frustration you'll feel. Hold her close. This is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done, but there will be a whole new transcendent level of love you find for her. Which I know sounds kooky and impossible (or it did to me when somebody said it months ago, I didn't think I could love my mum more), you might not even realise until after she's gone. But as much as I miss her, I have no doubts as to how consumingly she loved me, nor I her and it's the biggest and possibly only comfort I'm finding right now. 
 

Sending all the love in the world Emma, for you and your mum and your children xxx