Hi Rhtsparkes48, 

I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine some of what you're going through, to all happen in such a short space of time must be a great shock, especially as you say, your mum had beaten the throat cancer; my heart goes out to you.

My mum passed away from blood cancer, 26 September 2018; I like you struggled with sleeping, its strange because you actually want to sleep but you just can't and then its just exhausting. Understand about being scared, somebody said to me, it will feel like your world has ended. Facing life without our mum's, how can that be possible, nobody can prepare you for it.

How do you cope, I can only tell you from experience and I am much further in my journey. I won't lie, it's hard, so very hard and the sadness can be difficult to bear.

It may help to see your GP, mine was very good and some people on this forum say that tablets from the GP to help with sleeping may help in these very early days? Sounds silly but I found walking helped, I just found it easier being outside and although you may not feel like eating, it will help to look after yourself. For me, it was just a day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time, whatever you feel though is normal and there are no timeframes with grief. Some find counselling helps, maybe a little further down the line; I hope you can find some comfort with family and close friends.

You won't feel it now and at this time, probably nothing anybody says will make a difference, all I can say is I was in a very dark place when my mum died but I am slowly coming to terms with a 'new normal' ; trying to remember happier memories....I always remember these words- 

The river of grief is deep and wide but happiness awaits you on the other side and the love of those around you, will take you there.

Our mum's are still with us, in spirit, always looking over us, that's what I believe.

This forum has helped me, especially when you know , others here will truly understand.

Thinking of you.

Linda

Hi lovely, I can't offer you much but just know you aren't alone. I lost my dad 3 years ago next month, and lost my mam on Sunday just gone, both to cancer. The grief is absolutely awful, and for me is actually physical. I agree with the advice given, take it one hour, one day at a time. Too far into the future is too scary and I can't bare it. Sending you lots of love xxx

Thank you for your reply, I don't know what to say, just so very sorry and saddened to read your post. You're right about the grief feeling physical. My husband has lost both his parents and I think unless you have been through it or going through it, people don't fully understand.

You're a very kind person to think of others when your grief is so raw, thank you.

Faith is personal and I guess people don't mention it but you're in my thoughts and prayers.

So sorry for your loss.

Linda

x

Thank you for your reply, I don't know what to say, just so very sorry and saddened to read your post. You're right about the grief feeling physical. My husband has lost both his parents and I think unless you have been through it or going through it, people don't fully understand.

You're a very kind person to think of others when your grief is so raw, thank you.

Faith is personal and I guess people don't mention it but you're in my thoughts and prayers.

So sorry for your loss.

Linda

x