How dreadful for you:no time to adjust.

sometimes cancer remains hidden until a very late stage.

peoole do sometimes give up- they feel the time is right to let go.

A friend's mother kept going with metastatic breast cancer until his wedding day, then died within a week

It's scary isn't it.  I just can't believe how fast she deteriorated and such advanced cancer with just a bad back. But a clear X-ray. Unless she was hiding other symptoms as she was frightened.  God I hate cancer. Thank you for replying. 

Hi,

My Dad was admitted with a UTI and struggling to eat and did a CT scan and discovered cancer and died just 9 days later in hospital.  I don't think he even knew he had cancer, we never told him as he was always so upbeat but he died peacefully in his sleep.

The whole cancer thing is awful, it seems unless a CT scan is done, any of us can have it as Dad also had a xray and was clear.

This time will be awful for you , the first few months are terrible and I lost my Dad not a Mum which will be even harder for most girls.

Cry and let all the emotions out.  Use this forum as a support.

Lots of hugs as it really is an awful time x

I understand how distressed you must be feeling but I am old, I've experienced quite a few deaths and this is how I woul like my death to be - relatively quick and without much suffering, No-one can say how quickly someone will die but your mother had a short time in which to say anything she needed to you. That is actually a great gift. 

When someone dies like this we are upset for ourselves, Everyone experiences grief differently but anger is a common stage in the grieving process as is displacing that anger onto those who were trying hard to make your mother as comfortable as she could be. Accept that you are angry with your mother for leaving you and that is normal.

It was very quick so a blessing for her. We are all just in shock still I think.  I wish we didn't tell her about the cancer. But we were thinking if she had a few weeks left she would go home and need care and would obviously have to know what was going on.  As it turns out she died two days later I think she chose that. She didn't want to linger on with cancer.  Apart from the bad back she really had no other pain. A blessing.  I need to try and move forward now.  I'm angry with cancer not her.  But she is at peace now.  Thank you for your messages 

It's scary isn't it. That you can have cancer and not know until it's too late. I'm trying not to become anxious about every ache and pain in my body. But it's made me very nervous. 

I'm also sorry for your loss. It's very hard isn't it.  I feel like I need to try and move forward a bit as I'm crying every day and I'm angry and anxious. My husband and kids are on eggshells around me. So for their sake I need to try and get a hold on things I feel 

hello 

i lost my dad last Dec, and for the last 7 weeks of his life he was in pain and on end of life care he needed round the clock care and i was always by his side, so found comfort in spending quality time with him ... but having said that i think him passing quicker would have been a greater gift than time because watching him day in and day out suffering was the hardest thing in the world.. Cancer is evil and it only wins in the end no matter how long it takes either days weeks or years !!