Hi I'm 19 and my mum recently passed away at the age of 41. We found out in January that she had bowel cancer. After treatments of radiation therapy and chemotherapy we thought things were looking good , she had an operation to have a stoma bag put onto her and they removed the majority of the cancer. They hoped it would go dormant but it didn't. It came back so much worse and aggressive and spread to her liver. She lost so much weight and had jaundice in her eyes. The medication they were giving her made her so dopey and she didn't feel like my mum anymore. The week before she passed she seemed like she was doing better but then I got the call to come right away and I watched her pass away. I feel kind of traumatized. Going back to work is so hard and I'm left with so much responsibility as she was both my parents. I feel like a zombie. I feel depressed and I'm a dark place. All I want is for her to come back and give me a hug and tell me it's all going to be okay. I don't know how to get help with how I'm feeling. I'm usually such a strong person defeating any obstacle but I feel lost. I feel hopeless. I'm left with funeral costs with my dog with a house to take care of. I miss her so much it actually hurts my chest sometimes. 
 

how do I get help? I didn't think I'd lose my Mum so young. Everything's spiraling around me and I don't know what to do :(