Losing my mother in law

My mother in law passed away a few months ago, and I’m really struggling. I always felt very close to her, saw her as another mother. And she always treated me like her daughter. Losing her was unexpected, we all thought she was pulling through. Ever since she passed I just can’t stop thinking about her, and I get this anxious numbing feeling when I realise she’s actually gone; that she won’t know our kids, she won’t be just down the road or a phone call away. But I don’t know who to talk to. I don’t want to bring it up with my husband, because after all she was his actual mother. Who am I to be struggling this much? And when I do it just makes him sad, which is the last thing I want to do. I know whatever I’m feeling he’s feeling a million times worse. She was the central figure in our extended family and I just don’t know how we will move on from this. I’m just so lost and needed to let it out somewhere, I just can’t believe she’s gone. Does it get any easier?  

Parents
  • Hi, 

    I am currently going through the process of loosing my mother in law. I have felt so alone these past few weeks and I decided to see out help, and came across this page. 

    Thank you so much for posting this I now know I am not alone. I also felt like I didn't want to talk to family about it. I didn't want to set back their healing. I worry that the family will not be the same again she was our rock. My family hadn't processed that she will gone. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. As I am not direct family - I hope this makes sense - I feel like an outsider. 

    Again thank you for helping me without realising it 

Reply
  • Hi, 

    I am currently going through the process of loosing my mother in law. I have felt so alone these past few weeks and I decided to see out help, and came across this page. 

    Thank you so much for posting this I now know I am not alone. I also felt like I didn't want to talk to family about it. I didn't want to set back their healing. I worry that the family will not be the same again she was our rock. My family hadn't processed that she will gone. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. As I am not direct family - I hope this makes sense - I feel like an outsider. 

    Again thank you for helping me without realising it 

Children
  • Hi there,

    My mother in law passed away yesterday and although we had been preparing for this for the last year I feel distraught. I literally cannot stop crying and I am wracked with guilt for being so emotional when she is not my biological mother. I miss her so much already and I can't imagine our lives without her. She was the most gentle soul and so incredibly selfless. She was so involved in ours and our children's lives and it hurts so much knowing she won't be here for anymore memories and milestones. My heart is absolutely breaking

  • God this all resonates with me so much. 
    my mother in law was - as I have recently managed to put into words - the mother I needed at the time that I needed her the most. She was the guiding abs calming influence that helped me become the mother I am to my very young son today. I was with her and holding her hand when she passed. 
     

    I feel so lost without her loving and feminine influence in our male-dominated family and the world feels scary (parenting in perticular feels scary!) without her unflappable and confident influence. 
     

    I loved her so much - it feels really hard to have only had someone so special and mother-like in my life for only a few short years!