Hi Laura

I'm so sorry to hear you're lost your mother, it's still early days for you and you could still be in a state of shock, by feeling numb it is a way that our brain lets us cope with grief. Grief is such a unique thing, it is different for everyone. I lost my mother nearly seven months ago and I'm still waiting to fall apart. Like you I was extremely close to my mother, my two children adored her and she loved the very bones of them. I would see her everyday, quite simply my best friend. I miss her so very much.

Here I am nearly seven months on and I still ask myself why am I not constantly in tears and just carrying on with my life without my lovely mother here. Also like you I think she is looking down thinking look at her she's carrying on like she doesn't care.

I sometimes think I am avoiding it and I find it easier to pretend my mother is still in her house of course I know this is not true. Then I think what good would it do if I was incapacitated by grief. I know my mother wouldn't want that it would break her heart. I'm sure your mother would feel the same. Also I think I'm being strong for my children I have to be, they I feel have been through enough as it is. I have explained to them it's ok to cry or not to. 

I have read there is no right or wrong to grieve, I know I didn't ask to be like this I always thought I would be unable to get out of bed if anything happened to my mother.  How the hell would I cope. Do what feels right for you, I'm sure your mother is proud of how you are coping. 

Don't worry about other people, you know how much you loved your mother and she knew how much you loved her. That's all that matters, people expect you to be a certain way after losing a loved one and these are people who are lucky enough not to have experienced a loss. 

Take Care

X x x 

So sorry you lost your mum too. It sounds like our feelings are almost identical. My mum was my best friend and, even if I didn’t see her we’d speak on the phone at least once a day....if not 3 or 4 times! It feels like I am pretending too that she is just at her house especially as it really feels like she isn’t gone.

Youre so right.....what good would it be if I was inconsolable? And I too have been trying to be strong for the children. They both adored mum too and my poor son has had this happen right at the beginning of his GCSES.....Mum would be mortified!

You’re also right in saying that our mum’s would hate to see us hurting. The day they told my mum that the cancer had progressed she said to me ‘The worst thing about this is knowing I am going to have to hurt you all’ But those are the words of a woman who knows how very much she is loved. 

Tough day today as it would have been Mum and Dad’s Golden Wedding and she was so looking forward to it. Next week we are going to France on our family holiday. Dad and I thought Mum would want us all to go still and fortunately it’s somewhere we haven’t been with Mum so we can just get away from everything for a week. I’m sure she’ll be with us.

Maybe we are not numb, maybe we’re just full of the strength and love that our Mum’s have given us so that we’re much more able to cope than we ever thought possible. 

L

So sorry you lost your mum too. It sounds like our feelings are almost identical. My mum was my best friend and, even if I didn’t see her we’d speak on the phone at least once a day....if not 3 or 4 times! It feels like I am pretending too that she is just at her house especially as it really feels like she isn’t gone.

Youre so right.....what good would it be if I was inconsolable? And I too have been trying to be strong for the children. They both adored mum too and my poor son has had this happen right at the beginning of his GCSES.....Mum would be mortified!

You’re also right in saying that our mum’s would hate to see us hurting. The day they told my mum that the cancer had progressed she said to me ‘The worst thing about this is knowing I am going to have to hurt you all’ But those are the words of a woman who knows how very much she is loved. 

Tough day today as it would have been Mum and Dad’s Golden Wedding and she was so looking forward to it. Next week we are going to France on our family holiday. Dad and I thought Mum would want us all to go still and fortunately it’s somewhere we haven’t been with Mum so we can just get away from everything for a week. I’m sure she’ll be with us.

Maybe we are not numb, maybe we’re just full of the strength and love that our Mum’s have given us so that we’re much more able to cope than we ever thought possible. 

L

Hi Laura

Just wanted to reply back. It still doesn't feel my mother has gone and in all honesty I don't think it ever will feel real. Someone who I saw everyday just not being here its as if my brain and heart just won't accept. I would talk to my mother about anything and everything. I still wish her goodnight everynight.

Your mother sounds like mine she said sonething similar to us before she passed, she worried about us all and how we would cope especially her grandchildren.  I do fully believe my mother watches over us, giving us strength to go on and she will continue to do so. A love so strong surely never stop exsisting. I do feel very blessed I had the mother I had. Wish I had her for longer that what we did I feel so cheated and it hurts that she is not here to see my children grow. I hope your son does well in his GCSE's, I'm sure your mother will be proud of him.

I hope you get through today the best way you all can,  your mother will always be part of you and your children. Wishing you a peaceful holiday in France be sure your mother will be with you.

Thinking of you x x x 

P.s just read about the robin wow what a beautiful sign from your mother, treasure that. 

Take Care x x x