struggling to accept the loss of my Dad.

I've posted on this site a few times- but havent been online for at least two months.

My Dad passed away back in October 2018 and everyday it feels as raw as the day he died. I literally never stop thinking of him, and Im so sad thinking hes not here anymore. I feel as though my heart breaks everyday and im constantly so sad. Of course, I miss him more than I could ever try to explain. I still cant seem to get my head around the fact I wont see him again.

Everyone says you will get used to a new normal, but not having my dad here will ever be normal. Its been five months and it some respect its been the longest five months ever, but it also feels as though its flown by. Im 23, and cant bare the idea of having my whole life without him.

I was there through everything, holding his hand right 'till the end, but now I look back with such panic at what he went through. He never changed the whole way through- was the same lovely, kind, funny man he always was. But I feel so much pain thinking that he was just putting on a brave face for me and my family. I know and I've heard so many times that 'hes in a better place and that he wont be in any pain anymore' but all that does to me is reiterates that he was in pain and that towards the end he wasnt in a good place here.

I cry everyday for my Dad- and oddly I dont want that to stop because I dont ever want to accept that hes not here. I just still cant believe hes gone and I'm left without him. I dont feel like I can put into words just how devestated I am but he truly was the only person I knew I could never live without.

Sorry for the rambling- but sometimes I just feel a bit of relief for typing out how Im feeling. Is anyone else in a similar situaition currently?

Parents
  • Hi, its been 13 months since I lost my Mum to Pancreatic Cancer.  It was very sudden and we had very little time with our lovely Ann. The last 12 months have been  the most painful ever and every day I think about Mum and wish we could still have our daily chats ant texts... , gradually I am starting to remember Mum without cancer but its hard and my mind always goes back to that last month with Mum, even though it was such a small part of Mums life.  Take care.

Reply
  • Hi, its been 13 months since I lost my Mum to Pancreatic Cancer.  It was very sudden and we had very little time with our lovely Ann. The last 12 months have been  the most painful ever and every day I think about Mum and wish we could still have our daily chats ant texts... , gradually I am starting to remember Mum without cancer but its hard and my mind always goes back to that last month with Mum, even though it was such a small part of Mums life.  Take care.

Children
  • Hiya..

    I also lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer- awful isnt it. How did you find the anniversary of her passing? I dread so many days throughout the first year- birthdays, fathers day etc. 

    Hope youre doing okay x

  • Hello Katie

    I think everyone is different when it comes to grief.....I visit Mums grave regulary back in Derbyshire and stay at Mums cottage but my sister finds it too painful. Mum's sister has still not been able to put Mum's photograph up in her house.  I feel close to Mum when I am at the grave and back in Derbyshire.  I live in the South with my husband. On Mums anniversary we did flowers and cards for the grave and for her Birthday and Mothers Day also.  Its been incredibly difficult year for me...I am not the same happy confident person I used to be but gradually I am hoping that I can overcome this.  I have lots of photos of Mum everywhere and I talk to Mum daily  I know its not the same for everyone but it helps me and this forum has been very comforting.  The death of a parent changes you forever but in a positive way eventually!

    Take care