Thank you Cheryl for your message.

when we talk over the phone or Skype, I am always staying positive and try to stay strong for her. I haven’t cried in front of her as I feel it would make things worse.

if i start talking about the past and the good memories (which I want to) and sharing all the things in my heart, it will make her feel like the end is close? the most important is for her to stay positive until the end. I don’t know how to approach this.. we usually just talk about my son. 

Then I think this is a perfect positive thing to discuss. I know that I coildnt have said goodbye to my mum and she would probably just have wanted to talk about my daughter too.

I think perhaps let your mum take the lead. Both my parents died suddenly but my best friend died of cancer and she just wanted to talk about gossip. Hearing  about what was going on at work kept things normal for her x

I am sorry to hear this, i can’t imagine what you have been through. 

I am trying to let her take the lead as you say. Maybe if I can fly I will say face to face what’s in my heart. 

Thank you for your reply xx 

No problem lily.

I hope it goes ok. In many ways I was lucky that I didnt see mum suffer. She simply went in an instant x

Hi Lily,

I’m so sorry about your mum. The way you speak of her reminds me a lot about my relationship with my mum. She passed away in September unexpectedly, I’m not going to lie I didn’t think I could do it either. I thought about giving up and being with her many times. What got me through was my daughter. It’s my mums birthday next week, it doesn’t get any easier especially on occasions like a birthday. My daughter will be 3 next month, she was my mums everything and I can’t imagine her not being here. But I’m through the darkest stage, I want to make her proud and that’s what keeps me going. You’ll get that strength too but it will take time. I can’t compare or imagine how hard this is for you with covid going on, I’m so sorry. All I can say is I think you should tell your mum how you feel, maybe not in the sense of how scared you are as you don’t want to upset her but instead tell her how you feel about her. Tell her how much you love her as much as you can, tell her she’s your best friend, she will know it anyway of course but I’m sure it will bring her comfort in the end to remember those conversations. I always told my mum how I felt, we were the soppy type but when I saw her in a hospital and I didn’t know she was going to die I spent some time just joking with her, I wish I comforted her more. She was in a coma and we were told she would have 3 days to live, she died 20 minutes later and in those 20 minutes I told her how proud I was of her and how strong she was and how much she meant to me and I’m so glad now I did. Please message me anytime if you need someone to talk to. 

Sending you lots of love and strength! Your already living through this, you are much stronger than you think I promise x

My mum died of leukemia over 3 years ago now. I used to talk to her everyday and words cannot express how much pain I feel. I cry myself to sleep everyday longing for the day I don't wake up again so I can be with her.

Hi I have not long buried my mum it's very numb still but I'm struggling with losing her and my own family as I just want to be with her. I use to ring her every single day and I can't now. It was unexpected what happened with my mum, we got her to a and e earlier than she was due a scan as she just didn't feel well. Got her to a and e and was told the same day mum was end of life......I can't help but blame our gp surgery as mum had been going for months only to be fobbed off it was thing after another. It wasn't until mums last visit where she seen a different gp that referred her for a fast track scan. I wasn't happy to wait up to 2 weeks so after the night mum was poorly I said to my family did waiting let's get her to a and e mum will get the scan quicker only we did that and got the blow. I'm really struggling right now and I don't quite know what to do or I do but I can't bring myself to do it. I work in a hospital and got sent there last week......I broke down as it was the first time I been there since my mum died. We buried my mum on the 7th feb xx

I lost my lovely Mum on 8 November and we had her funeral yesterday. My grief today is just so painful. I don't know how I'm ever going to get over losing her. I miss her so much it physically hurts. I just don't know how to carry on, everything has changed

Hi Debbie,

I'm so sorry for your loss, I know your pain all too well. It's been 2 years and almost 2 months since I lost my Mum and I'm still struggling with grief. I cry every day and miss her so much. I really hope you cope better than me. Do you have family you can turn to for some comfort? If you need to talk I'm here. Xo