hey luke, listen mate the is the first time i logged back in on here since my last post above, i want to try and be there for who ever needs a chat a a listening ear in times when thinking about things gets a little to much, trust me its still the same for me, i just had to lean back on my sofa and take a minute before writing back to ya,

just lately i started to piece myself back together as the last thing mum said to me was mark keep going to uni and do what you want makes you happy, ya see mate many years ago i got in with the wrong crowed and got myself an addiction, thats well in the past but i always spoke to mum about things and listened and finally i got clean and began to help others, i now made that my full time mission and like i promised mum im now in my second term of uni and doing good. i found the more i achieve the more i know mum will be looking down and pushing me that ikle bit more, some day i will av a person sat in front of me with their head in their hands asking for my help and i will do all i can to help them knowing that even though mum wasnt here she helped me and pushed me to get on and help myself which in turn will help others, thats what life is all about mate, we all only have one mum but that mum is what makes us and carrys on making us even when she became an angel, shes still my mum and shes still helping me to help others,

LUKE...... im about if you ever need a chat , if you post a few words on here it will let me know, and i will get back to you just as i have done above mate..

trust me you also "have" a great mum, keep moving forward mate and she will continue to be real proud of you , mums dont always tell us how proud they are of us but you will always feel it in your heart mate i promise you...

remember the abouve "ALWAYS HERE"

Mark... 

hey wendy hope your ok? how are things, did you manage to get out and about a little more? i guess you read through a few of my posts but i just thought i would check in with you, feel free to drop a scribble if your up to it, all the very best.

marko.

One can only try to live-on in a way that is mindful of how the departed would have wished for us. 

I can totally understand what you are saying, no one should ever see the horror of there loved ones dying my sister and I did everything we could for my mom but both could not be there at the end and that will haunt me for the rest of my life. 

I lost my mum just under 4 weeks ago. She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in December and managed to hold out for 7 months. 
 

Reading everyone's experiences and dealings with grief has been reassuring, because this has been the most difficult 4 weeks of my life. Myself and my siblings were all present when mum passed, which I am pleased about, however unpleasant the end was. We had her funeral yesterday, and the service was beautiful. We gave mum the best send off and, whilst sad, it was a lovely day.

I had my 30th birthday last week. Initially I didn't want to celebrate without mum there. As my Aunt reminded me, mum would hate the idea of me not celebrating. In the end I had a wonderful birthday with family and friends.

More than anything, this has been my first horrific personal experience with cancer. I never realised how aggressive and how quickly it could take someone. I look back to a photo of me and my mum on Christmas Day 2020. She had just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, but she had no pain; she didn't feel or look ill at all. 2 months later she was bed bound and relying on a concoction of drugs to keep her going. It's also made me more aware of my mortality, which isn't something I've ever worried about!

This is a horrible time, and whilst I know I will never truly get over losing my wonderful mum, I know it will get easier. As I've seen on so many posts, our mums would hate to see us cry, to see us in pain. Our mums would want us to be strong and happy; to use the wisdom and love they shared with us and enjoy our lives to their fullest! We owe her that.

I would give anything in the universe to hug my mum again and tell her I love her. I miss her more than words can say. But I speak to her often and I think of her constantly. The memories we share comfort me and her energy will always be there. 
 

Love you mum x

I'm glad I've come across this post as I have really been struggling to deal with the loss of my beautiful mother and the emotions that hit me. 
we were told my mum had stage 1 endometrial cancer in June 2020, she also had kidney failure and they decided that if they started dialysis it would improve my mums fitness and they could operate and successfully remove the cancer they hoped. Her fitness never improved due to all of the health issues she had. They then decided that hormone therapy was the only option. During her routine blood checks in the renal unit they discovered elevated markers and admitted her. She was scanned and they discovered the cancer had spread to her spine, lungs, bones and liver and nothing could be done for her. We brought mum home as she wished and she passed away 16 days later. I feel like I've watched someone else's life as it was all so quick and just too horrible and heartbreaking to be real. Even now 7 weeks later I still feel like it hasn't happened and then it hits me each and every day. Life will never be the same again and I feel like my heart will never not hurt again. 
My mum was just the most amazing person and she suffered so many heartbreaking losses herself and I now can't believe we've lost her