I' sorry I haven' replied sooner. It' just been hard to reply as my emoions are all over the place.

I' sorry for your loss too.

Still struggle to get motivated to do anything.

I don' like being around people. And prefer to stay around my house and garden.

I cried so much the other day because I wanted to call my mum so bad.

X

Hi I'm new to this site, but feel this is the only place where how I feel seems shared by others. I lost my mum a year ago, she was my best friend my soul mate and another mum to my children. We only live 2 doors away from her home. I also don't hardly go out any more or want to mix with any one. My friends have stopped trying to get hold of me any more, because I wouldn't answer the door or calls.....all I can say is some days are better than others, the pain never goes away, but sometimes we laugggh at the things we got up to with the kids, my kids and I created a memory jar filled with amazing times we shared and things that she said. I feel I will never get over the pain as it's still as raw aS the day she told me she was dying...I prayed so hard, begged god to take me instead as she was such a better person than me.....I have to admit if I didn't have children I would probably end my life as my  pain is unbearable. But I need to be there for them as the pain of loosing 2 people u love is something I will never put them  through if I can help it....I just take each day at a time, some days I'm fine and others not so great. My mum was everything to me losing her was the worst moment of my life, and iv bin through a lot. I just try and remember the pain I feel is because of the amazing mum, nan, friend and wife she was, and that if I didn't miss her then she wasn't that significant in our lives.....this is the first time iv actually shared how I feel to anyone, and broke down even writing this...

Wow I completely get where you are coming from. I lost my mum 4 months ago and the pain I feel is unbearable. She was my best friend, the person I got advice from, my go to for everything. I spoke to her every day and I have a huge void in my life now she is gone.  I feel as though I will never truly be happy again without her. Some days I feel like I can't breath...I still can't believe she has gone and I will never see her again. I can't imagine living the rest of my life without her .  I still feel shocked when I think she is dead....grief is the worst pain ever and I feel like no one understands.

Hi

This is my first time here. I’m really struggling. My mum died last July. She had fought cancer for ten years and we thought she was doing well. Then she started to struggle with her sight and they realised it had moved to her brain, The end was horrible. I can’t get it out of my head. I held her hand. I’m on my own. My daughter is 

rightly getting on with her life. But I’m lying here in the dark feeling so very low and not knowing how to stop the pain. I can’t think what the point is any more. 

X

It’s so so hard. But, we must accept that all of us will die. But, losing my mum is the hardest thing ever. I’m a social worker and have to deal with loss every day but, nothing compares to this. X

So sorry to hear that you are having a hard time after losing your Mum.  I lost mine a month ago and know exactly how you feel.... lost doesn’t even describe it.... you have to be strong, your Mum would want you to be z

So sorry to hear that you are having a hard time after losing your Mum.  I lost mine a month ago and know exactly how you feel.... lost doesn’t even describe it.... you have to be strong, your Mum would want you to be z

A month is no time at all. My heart goes out to you. You’re absolutely right - I think mum would want me to be strong. I just don’t think I realised how much she underpinned everything. Someone else put something about feeling they’d lost their moorings and that’s exactly how I feel. Like I’m just floating. Existing. Not living. 

I tnoyght I was a strong woman. Clearly I’m not x

i lost my mum nine weeks ago and its killing me , the day she died i think she new although she was so confused she told me, and they came in at 3.45 on the tuesday put her a syringe driver on 20 mins later she was gone but its haunting me beacause i didnt know right at that second she was dying right then i just saw her pupils were very large and i panicked,beacause she was so sedated i didnt know how could i have not known, its killing me and i didnt hold her tell her i loved her i freaked out , im so sorry mummy .

No matter how strong you are or think you are nothing prepares you for losing your Mum...... 

Hold those happy memories close to you and try your hardest to remember her with a smile, as she would want you too.... that’s how I am getting through my days xx

That’s exactly how I feel now. But it’s taken me a year to get to this point. At first you go through shock, sadness, grief (worse),then you realise you are doing your mum a disservice and you owe it to her not to be sad and to be a reflection of her and how she lived her life before she became ill.

xxx