Hello Antoni,

My sincere sympathy on the loss of your Mom. I think that what you are describing is a coming to terms with your grief. We all develop different coping strategies and putting up the wall as you describe is one way of coping.

I don't think that there is the remotest possibility that you will forget her altogether. You will just compartmentalise her, for your own sanity. We cannot let our grief eat away at us until we are quivering wrecks.I am sure that your Mom wouldn't want this either. She would want you to do your best in life to make her proud of all your achievements.

I lost my mother to cancer in 1997 and I still miss her every day. It took me several years to accept that she was no longer with us, but I have now come to accept it and am able to cope with my loss.

This has allowed me to move forward with my life and to instill in my children the values that she instilled in me.

Do not beat yourself up about the way you feel. It is  often difficult to recall happier times when you have in your mind a clearer picture of how your Mom was at the end. You will gradually find that the better memories start to come to the fore when the end stage ones begin to disappear.

A year is not a long time to get over a bereavement. Just go with the flow at present and don't try to fight it. It will all turn out good in the end.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hello Antoni,

My sincere sympathy on the loss of your Mom. I think that what you are describing is a coming to terms with your grief. We all develop different coping strategies and putting up the wall as you describe is one way of coping.

I don't think that there is the remotest possibility that you will forget her altogether. You will just compartmentalise her, for your own sanity. We cannot let our grief eat away at us until we are quivering wrecks.I am sure that your Mom wouldn't want this either. She would want you to do your best in life to make her proud of all your achievements.

I lost my mother to cancer in 1997 and I still miss her every day. It took me several years to accept that she was no longer with us, but I have now come to accept it and am able to cope with my loss.

This has allowed me to move forward with my life and to instill in my children the values that she instilled in me.

Do not beat yourself up about the way you feel. It is  often difficult to recall happier times when you have in your mind a clearer picture of how your Mom was at the end. You will gradually find that the better memories start to come to the fore when the end stage ones begin to disappear.

A year is not a long time to get over a bereavement. Just go with the flow at present and don't try to fight it. It will all turn out good in the end.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx