Hi Poppy,

I am so sorry to hear that you have felt so low throughout the last five months. We all grieve in different ways and develop different coping strategies with time.

I am glad to hear that you have a holiday booked. Try talking to your partner when you are away. It can be helpful to bare your soul to a loved one at times like this.

If this does not help, have you considered counselling? This can be helpful for some people.

It is not like clicking a light switch, it takes some considerable time to come to terms with the loss of one's mother. You will never forget her, but hopefully you can come to accept your loss with the passage of time.

Birthdays anniversaries and family gatherings are always difficult times, especially when it is still only months since you lost her. What a great pity that she died so young and that she will not be here for your brother's 21st. Try not to let this blight your day. Raise a wee toast to your mum then try your best to enjoy the day. I am sure that she will be with you in spirit.

I hope that your holiday does what your partner is aiming at and allows you to return home more rested and able to deal with the situation better.

Remember, we are always here to support you, so don't forget to come back here when ever you want to.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

thank you for your kind words I don't like to talk to him about it as it brings back bad memories from when he lost his mum but today me my brother and dad went to the beach where we scattered mum and this evening me and my sister let off some ballones for mum with a flower attached I had a pretty yellow tulip yellow was always her favourite colour as she was blind it was the brightest for her x

Hi, I've just lost my mum. I think the things you have done for her (balloon etc) are lovely and I will ask dad if he wants to do them too. I've received so many sympathy cards but the best one said "the greater the love, the greater the loss" which I think sums things up perfectly. I'm willing to feel this rubbish and sad as it meant I got to have a great mum and best friend. You and I have to think of this as the start of a new chapter, where we get to make our mums proud and to achieve and be happy. I'm going to think of something she'd love (like tap dancing) and I'm going to make it my goal to do. Maybe have a focus. What would mum have done for your brothers 21st? Maybe a trip somewhere? If it's not affordable then bring the trip to you. For example Paris, play the music, eat baguettes, have some fun with it. Just ideas and you may not be ready for them yet but knowing we can't change things in the past but we can change the future might help us to move forward. I'm writing this to you in the hope of helping myself too.  Hope you don't mind. Sending you hugs. Xxx

Hi, I've just lost my mum. I think the things you have done for her (balloon etc) are lovely and I will ask dad if he wants to do them too. I've received so many sympathy cards but the best one said "the greater the love, the greater the loss" which I think sums things up perfectly. I'm willing to feel this rubbish and sad as it meant I got to have a great mum and best friend. You and I have to think of this as the start of a new chapter, where we get to make our mums proud and to achieve and be happy. I'm going to think of something she'd love (like tap dancing) and I'm going to make it my goal to do. Maybe have a focus. What would mum have done for your brothers 21st? Maybe a trip somewhere? If it's not affordable then bring the trip to you. For example Paris, play the music, eat baguettes, have some fun with it. Just ideas and you may not be ready for them yet but knowing we can't change things in the past but we can change the future might help us to move forward. I'm writing this to you in the hope of helping myself too.  Hope you don't mind. Sending you hugs. Xxx

hi Ti

thank you for the locket suggestions and kind words our birthdays mum would always cook is our favourite dinner and we'd just spend the day doing what ever the last 4/5 years it was me doing it for mum as she couldn't stand long enough but it was all to much for my brother so he went home so he can have his time I'm sorry to hear about your loss the ballones was a very nice thing to do and we wrote a little gift tag attached x

Hi, I'm seeing dad later today so I'll talk to him about the balloons. I think that's such a lovely idea. I hope Monday and Tuesday weren't too hard (I'm sure it was very difficult) I'm wondering if sticking to the old routine is a good idea. I alway do Christmas dinner here. This year there will be an empty space so I'm already thinking that we need to do something different. And I think birthdays may be the same. If mum always cooked your favourite meal then maybe go out instead, have a meal, book the theatre, shake things up a bit. I think that's what I'm going to do. I've also decided to make a list of things that mum would want me to do. Number one is look after myself. Because I can't look after anyone else if I'm ill. Lots of people have told me time is a great healer and I'm hoping they are right. I've re read you original post and I'm so pleased your robin is following you. I'm looking for mum everywhere but I can't seem to find her at the moment. I'm checking this site daily at the moment so if you want to talk I'm happy to listen. Take care Ti xxx

'Grief is the price we pay for love' 

This was part of the Queens speech. I heard it on the tele the other week and thought how true it is. Such a straight forward thing to say, but really hit the nail on the head for me...