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My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

Snowflake72555
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My mum died of liver cancer 9 months ago. I find each day unbearable and find it harder and harder. I can't sleep at night and break down all the time. I miss her so much and my life feels so empty without her. I have two children and I continue for their sake otherwise I wouldn't have the will to get out of bed each day as I feel so down. 

Does it get easier? because right now, it feels awful.

I keep thinking I need to tell mum this and remember she's gone and breakdown. I see people with their mothers and I envy them.

I feel so alone and helpless. Feel like part of me has died too and I struggle to get back up again.

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    I really know how u feel. My mum and best friend died 7 and half years ago now from ovarian cancer and although I put a brave face on all the time in front of family and workmates I still miss her so much. I know though that she would want me to be strong and carry on for my twin boys who were only 4 when she died. I hope she is looking out for us all and proud of all the things my brilliant son's have achieved......that makes me sad because she's missed out on so much. Please try to be strong for your children because your mum would want that I'm sure. My mum used to say when u died there would always be a part of u still here if u had children.....and I believe she lives on in me helping me to be as good a mother as she was. I promise you it does get easier and not so raw and you do get the strength to move on.xxxx
  • Offline in reply to Atkinson72
    Hi sam. I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I can relate you you, i lost my mum to cancer. I am here if you want to chat. Heather. Xx
  • Offline in reply to Heatherm29

    Hi I am new to the forum. I have just lost my mum on the 26th Feb. Her funeral will take place next week.

    I am feeling exactly the same as most of your other replies, feeling all alone and like I am the only person ever in the world to loose her mum..........how an earth as a female do you cope without your mum?

    Mums teach us everything apart from how to manage without them! The hardest thing for me is the fact that I know that I am never going to see her again.

    Tomorrow is mothers day but i dont have one now. I can no longer tell her how special she is or how much she is loved!

    My mum was given the all clear at the beginning of the year after having radiotherapy only to find out 5 weeks later that she had 2 weeks left to live x

  • Offline in reply to Foster1

    Hi I too feel the same way as you - how can I cope when mum is the one who helps me cope? My husband is angry that I’m not the person I was . I feel he has no understanding and doesn’t even try. I have grown up children and a 10 year old who suffers with anxiety. I feel so alone and isolated . It’s been 6 months since mum died but my anger and emotions are still all over the place.I hate the way my family carry on when I’m so upset but I know it’s unreasonable to expect them to feel the same. I can’t visit the grave and every event ( the next being Easter) hurts so much . I would do anything to talk to her again...

  • Offline in reply to markmark
    I know this was posted a while ago, but stumbled across it on the weekend of the third anniversary of my mum’s death. She died suddenly when my first son was three months old, and I am now 21wweks pregnant with my second. It really hurts because she was so keen for me to have children and she was so excited to be a nan. I was feeling so devastated and then I came across this post, it’s so beautiful and reminds me of what my mum would probably say to me about her death. I’ve found it really comforting - thank you for sharing your thoughts.
  • Offline in reply to joeyram

    My mum died 5 weeks ago and I’m struggling to get on with life without her. She had been unwell but died suddenly when I was home to see her in Ireland for A holiday.( I live in Scotland) 

    I tried to return to work after 3 weeks ( two weeks holiday and one week bereavement leave) I did full days and then it hit me like a truck that my mum was gone for ever. I keep wanting to pick up the phone to talk to her and almost forgetting for one blissful moment. I was signed off work for two weeks and was due to return to work today but couldn’t do it as I can’t stop crying. When I do sleep I have flashbacks and nightmares about my brother and sister dying in various ways. The hardest part is being away from my family as they are all together in Ireland but I’m alone here ( I have great friends but it’s not the same)  it’s comforting to hear from other people going through the same emotional journey , knowing that I’m not alone 

    thanks for listening 

  • Offline in reply to Tarad

    Hello, I’m 19 and lost my mum to stage 4 lung cancer, it kills me every day knowing my mum won’t be at my wedding when I grow up or see me have children, or even graduate, she was my best friend I was her shadow, I’m not grown up just yet and I remember the last thing I told her was I got accepted in to uni. It’s not fair because I don’t get enough time with her 19 years is nothing. I hope it gets better but because she only died last year everything is hard, Christmas, my birthday, Mother’s day. I would love some support off other people who know what it’s like, because they share the same emotions as me and understand the situation.

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    Hi 

    sorry to hear your loss

    im 20 years in and it still hurts. I lost what would of been my best friend my confidence and confident. It doesn’t get easier but instead of get sad make them smile. Do stuff silly stuff clean the oven where you know they will be looking down and smiling. Rather than sorrow think happy we are carry this forever so we need to make it good. I laugh at things she would of done, do them for her I shop in places she would of got that reason I know she’s watching. Anyone out there who’s gone threw it it’s the worse pain i’ll Never get over it, a part of me does that day but i’ll Always look on with a smile or try please do

  • Offline in reply to Foster1
    I’m sorry to hear about your mum, I lot my mum just over a week ago! Like your mum she was told her cancer was gone and she would just have check ups, mum started getting symptoms and went back to consultant to be told she was fine! 5 weeks later she was in hospital and another week later she was gone... I’m just so angry about that! I agree as a female we need our mums to help and guide us!!! Mum was my best friend, we spoke and saw each other multiple times a day and neater the end when mum was ill I was always with her making her meals, helping her to wash, going to the shops etc, I don’t know what to do with myself anymore!!! I still don’t really believe she is gone but every so often I realise I’m never going to see her again, hear her voice or talk to her and it hits me like a ton of bricks! X
  • Offline in reply to kerry99

    Hi I too lost my mum to bowel cancer 4 weeks ago and I can't get my head around it still. I miss her so much and for a split second go to call her then it hits me again she's gone forever. My mum suffered in the last three months as it was so aggressive so I'm glad she is no longer in pain but I feel robbed that she has gone. You life changes immediately in the blink of an eye and I don't believe I will ever get over it. So sorry for your loss x

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