my lovely partner has just passed away from cancer and wondered if anybody else who has gone through the emotional roller coaster I am travelling on can offer any words of wisdom?
Hello CasperCat, I was so, so sad to hear about Jo from Jules. I have left a message on her new thread in memory of lovely Jo, but would just like to convey my sadness and condolences to you here as well. I think you will find true friends on here to help you through this awful time, not least Jules herself.
You may well know from my conversations with your lovely partner Jo, that I travelled a three year journey with my hubby as he fought his battle with a quiet dignity. How brave to come to the forum where Jo found and gave great understanding.
Can fully understand your emotional turmoil and venting here helped me (still does as offered unconditional virtual friendship means you are never quite alone even though you probably feel lonely).
Life will seem pretty raw for some time and time scales for understanding and acceptance differ for everyone. It is not always easy to take help offered and on a personal level there were times when I just wanted to sit in a dark room and reflect or bawl my eyes out. Anger, frustration, sadness, loss, guilt - the list appears endless as to the number of emotions from hour to hour, day to day. Advice, difficult but if you want to chat the forum gives you that opportunity (warning I am a 'wordaholic' but equally able to listen). Nothing prepares you for this grief though if it helps at all I am 17 months plus a widow and 'getting there'. I am still part of the forum because of the understanding and friendship I found here and if you decide to drop in from time to time then am happy to chat (you would be surprised how many subjects get covered!!). Equally you can private message upon request through the moderators and as Jo had my e mail address you are welcome to use it too if you wish.
Thinking of you and Jo's family and friends at this sad time. Jules
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Jo was a lovely lady who helped so many on here which I hope will be of some conselation to you. She often used to pull my leg about the fact I am a nutty person who loves eating all sorts of nuts.
Jo will be sadly missed and it goes without saying we will all be thinking of you, Brian.
Hi Caspercat I am very sad to her about Jo. I was very fond of her and always read what she had to stay. We're all here for you if you need support. Take care -Diane x
Welcome to Cancer Chat. I am one of the Cancer Chat moderators and like many here, I learned the sad news about Jo after reading Jules's emotional thread and you will see from reading all the messages there how much loved she was on this forum. I was very shocked when I logged in tonight to learn the news. Jo was a very much valued member of our community and offered unlimited support to whoever needed it. A selfless lady whom we will never forget. I can only imagine how devastated you must be feeling at the moment. We are sincerely sorry for your loss. A beautiful avatar you chose too to remember Jo where you both look happy and beaming.
The emotional rollercoaster you describe will resonate with many here and I hope this forum will help you a little during this difficult time. We are all here for you at any point.
Our thoughts are with you and your family and we really appreciate you coming here to talk and remember Jo, our lovely Meerkat@65.
hi, mine too passed saturday , so hard even when expected
feel so lost , expect him to come back in any minute ,even when ive put away some of his things i stop and momentarily think he might need that , then it hits you again
worn out with crying , hungry cant face food, ,cleaned out the kitchen cupboards this morning an put all HIs special food in bags,now looks empty and i wonder what i ever ate , he couoldnt swallow solid food so we had the usual rice pud, custard, cheesy mash , mac cheese , tinned mince cupboard look bare now, but darent shop as each aisle will remind me , off to sons tonight for tea , he needs to see mum .
Hi Valbell, am so sorry for your loss, it's a very difficult time and am glad you have company. I chose not to because that's the way I deal with things and I had to grieve on my own as I am still trying to do. Jo's service was on Saturday and my kids came down from Scotland and up from London to support me. It was comforting to see standing room only at the crematorium and the school where she taught opened up for a wee 'party' afterwards. She planned it all herself and as expected it went to plan perfectly. I also find everything always reminds me of Jo and i hope it always will, but River said on this thread it's not about getting over it, it's more about learning to live with the loss. Jo and I joked in the last few days that I would lose weight when she passed away and yet again she was correct......9.5kgs so far in just over two weeks!
A belated welcome to the forum, I'd somehow missed your original post.
Jo's contributions will be much missed. I wish I had words of wisdom to offer, but all I can say is that time may not heal but it does soften the hurt and you slowly learn to live with your loss. Anger is part of the grieving process, I hope you find an outlet for it which doesn't eat you up too much.
