Hi Syl

Quite honestly dont think we need a reason to feel tearful at times. It even still takes me by surprise when emotions catch up with me; silly really.  With the first anniversary of your husband's passing getting closer you are probably remembering and wondering where the time has gone and how you are managing now.  Sometimes it still feels like yesterday when my life changed, litterally overnight, even though I had known it would come.  Life's journey certainly brings its ups and downs and I suppose we just roll with the waves so to speak.

All good with the bride to be's parents so far but am sure there will be a sigh of relief all round once they are back. I had a message from my son and fiancee yesterday evening asking if it was okay with the family to have a fundraiser at the wedding (guess the length of the speeches) with the money going to the asbestos charity that helped us upon diagnosis. So proud and yes emotional all over again and also a good way to bring something positive into the celebrations. I know my son want's to keep his speech short and sweet so we can enjoy the meal so now I am wondering how best to gauge my 'guess'.

Hope the water is warm for you tonight and am sure the charity shops will appreciate any donations.Love the swapping idea at your friendship group though and perhaps some were luckier than others!  The only thing I have given away was some chcocolates I bought but which did not get opened..........the gym has an amnesty and then donates to local lunch clubs/homes. 

My treat to myself this week was a pedicure yesterday (a lot more relaxing than doing it myself) and then today I have visited my Mum and been to the gym - usual Tuesday routine.  Now to get through the two work days.

Take care and hope George appreciates his lovely friend taking him walkies.  Jules xx

Hi Jules, i am sat in my pyjamas watching the telly so thought i would send you a e-mail  its a lovely jesture you son  has made to donate money to the asbestos charity  at there wedding i am sure people will think it is a good idea.i dont feel to bad at the moment, its funny how feelings take over  and you feel  sad all over again then it  passes till the next  time. dont think i am doing much sat  might go to the garden centre for bird food , my sister might nip down  as well .your pedicure sounded nice its something i have never tried it looks very relaxing  when you see it done on the telly.my son is still working in London me and my daughter are going to his on Sunday for dinner, he does a nice Sunday lunch. also my daughter is taking 3 month off work to persue other things  she is going to to some  voluntary work  at an animal  charity near where she lives, also she is doing an MVQ for work  so she is  finishing that off. i am  helping her with her bills so she can do it.she is hopeing to fit a holiday in as well .have a nice weekend  regards Syl x

Hi Syl,

Good that you felt ok and comfy when you last posted. Emotions are strange as they seem to catch you unwares at times.  I had a few 'weary' days last week but am okay just now so maybe turned another corner!

Had a good day with my daughter and grandsons yesterday and was out to lunch which is always enjoyable. After an early breakfast and the gym this morning I walked to our local Farmers'Market and enjoyed a freshly brewed coffee in the old barn (free newspaper to read too).  Been there about 15mins when my daughter and the boys strolled in so we wandered the stalls together and they chose their favourite cheeses and locally produced jams/fudge to take home.  Little Zack also had his face painted before they settled down to play at the lego table for a bit whilst daughter and I sat and nattered before setting back towards home.  As it's over a mile and the boys had walked there, they caught the bus home as my daughter had also done some supermarket shopping.  I left them at the bus stop and walked back home.  Dry and cold but very pleasant way to spend the morning.

Hope you enoy the meal at your son's and how lovely that you are in a position to help with your daughter's three months break from work; I hope she achieves all she sets out to do in that time.

My daughter and family are still waiting to hear when their moving date is  so that they can start the job of 'packing up' but the solictors/estate agents are aiming at end of this month or beginning of March which at least makes it the other side of the wedding.  Exciting times ahead for them.

Take care and sending hugs.  Jules xx 

Hi Chris & Jules,

Thank you both for your replies.  

Sam and I used to do a lot of walking, this is one of the things I hadn't been able to bring myself to do, the thought of doing it without him just made me so sad (I only ever went walking with Sam). However, my Neice invited me to join her, her friend and children on a walk to Nicky Nook at Scorton yesterday, at first I said yes but then changed my mind (I had been on this walk previously with Sam).  But then I had a word with myself and agreed to go, after agreeing I just burst into tears and felt really anxious, but forced myself to go, it was a lovely 4 mile walk (being with my 5 year old Great-Neice made all the difference as she chatted the whole way), she is just adorable. So that is another hurdle crossed, I will definitely do it again having children around certainly helps.  Next task is to rejoin the Gym!  Love to you both  xxxxxxx Debbie

Hi Debbie, glad your not shutting your self away like i thought you was , its nice to do things with your  sister and nieces, i know how you feel ,i dont like going to places i went with hubby , some times if a  sea side comes on the telly i cry  becaues we loved going to them places .its strange really what goes  threw  your mind. take care of your self Syl x

Hi Jules ,glad you had a lovely time at the farmers market with your family , i like going to those markets you can get some lovely cheeses and meats from them .had dinner at my sons it was very nice .today Monday  the weather is lovely took george out  for his walk , just watching telly at the moment ,going to my aerobics class later on .have also booked a holiday in July with my friend  on a coach trip to  Bournmouth its with shearings, but i dont know wether i have done the right thing,i feel a bit apprehensive  but the kids and my sister have said  i should go i have booked separate rooms ,at least i can go to my room and have  a cry if ifeel sad  and it wont  embarrass any one  enjoy your week  regards Syl x

Hi Syl

I too came back from the Farmers' Market with cheese (a big weakness of mine!!). I go to the same stall usually twice a month and am now on their 'good deals' list as he often rounds the prices down.

Glad you had a nice lunch with your son and made the most of the nice weather by taking George for his walk.  What breed is he?

Hope the aerobics class went well; it is nice to be able to socialise when you feel up to it.  I sometimes think I exercise my mouth more than my body when I go to the gym but then I am not the only one.

I certainly felt aprehensive when I started taking even day trips but going with a friend gives you someone to talk to so is a shared experience and as you say if you feel like your own company you can pop to your room.  Bournemouth has plenty to offer (have spent a good few weekends there over the years) and my son has just returned from having his stag weekend down there (I doubt we would be interest in quad biking and shooting though haha).  I love sitting in the Winter Gardens and watching the world go by.  I have now had three holidays with the children which were lovely but my next hurdle will be my solo trip to Jersey in June (still aprehensive but also loooking forward to it, if that makes sense).  I like to think that if my mother at aged 83 could go on a coaching holiday by herself then I should manage too.

I have now finished work for 2 weeks and have this weekend free at the moment so no sure what I will do though suspect it will depend on the weather which is supposed to be pretty cold.

Take care and hope you are having a peaceful week.  Jules xx

Hi Jules, just come back from my daughters after having Sunday lunch  with her ,went to a lovely garden centre yesterday with her , its masive they sell clothes, toys, kitchen things  as well as a pet centre  and other things, we were there for about  3 hrs we had  a coffee in the cafe as well,managed to buy my self a couple of jumpers  and my daughter some gloves and bits and  pieces as she has booked a holiday called Trek America where  you  go round the  parks camping and doing other things, i didnt wont her to go  as she meets up with the others in L A, so she is on her own till   then im a born worrier  so dont feel happy about  her going . hope you enjoy your time off work its nice to have time to your self with out   looking at the clock  all the time.  im glad you have a chat  at the gym sometimes its  good to have a natter  while you exersice sometimes i  spend to much time on my own,at least i have my Friendship group  tomorrow, we are going to a local  pub  in the morning for tea and  toast  they also do a good breakfast as well which they serve till 2 0 clock  the weather here at the moment is really cold it is surpposed to be warming up this week  we live in hope. so hopefullygeorge will have a few good walks this week he his a jet black spaniel  you can picture him  now i have told you what he looks like.enjoy you week off regards Syl x