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Why won't my body let me cry?

Lost29316
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My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer 8 years ago, and it has now been 8 days since my dad passed away from cancer and related complications. He was ill for about 4 months prior to his passing and had two major operations in this time that prolonged his life by a month or two.  The last 4 weeks where horrific, watching him deteriorate, feeling his heart break that he was soon to leave us and there was nothing that he could do to stop it.

I have cried for months with dad, with family, in the shower, everywhere, But I haven't shed a tear for about 5 days, I just feel numb and kind of lost, and don't know what to do with myself. Months of worrying about him, sitting by his bedside and now it's all over. I want him back so badly and I know that is a normal feeling but this lost numb feeling seems strange. Why won't my body let me cry?    

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    Hi Lost29316

    I'm so sorry to hear that your dad has passed away - our condolences to you and your family. I'm sure some of our forum members will be along soon to offer you some support and advice as many have been though, or are going through, what you are experiencing now. 

    Here is some information on our website about coping with grief, which I hope you will find useful. Please do come and chat to us anytime.

    Best wishes,

    Kirsty

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    Hi Lost,

    Sorry to read about your recent loss. In reply to your question, I suspect it still may not have fully sunk in yet or you may even be in denial. When you lose a loved one, It seems like its not real for a few weeks and we find it difficult accepting our loss. Grief affects everyone different but please dont beat yourself up because you cant cry. As he was suffering towards the end, subconciusly you may be feeling relieved his suffering is over. There is a number of reasons why you feel like you do.

    Anytime you need to chat, there are some wonderful people on here who understand.

    Please keep in contact, Brian.

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    You are in shock and denial my dad passed away 4 weeks ago I still feel numb we a week before he died he had lung cancer I still carnt believe it my life feels on hold it hurts so much I miss him dearly so just remember you are not on your own in grief I hope this helps I am new to this post

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    Hi, don't worry. It's very early. I got told that there's no right or wrong in how you're feeling. Just take each day and let your body feel or not feel something that day. It might also be a protection mechanism for you. Just look after yourself and get to eat healthily even if you don't feel like it as it'll help you cope better. I feel numb too and it's been 3 weeks for me. It was similar towards the end where my dad knew and there was nothing he could do, he so desperately wanted to stay with us all but nothing he could do, it was heartbreaking. Even tho I saw him after he passed I still don't  believe it, like it's not real. I talked to him a lot and still talk to him. Also keep myself busy, and help my mum all I can. Try to keep yourself busy and eat well and take each day  for now and know no matter what you feel it's ok xx

     

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    Hi Lost

    So many of us here understand your feeling of numbness, loss and the inability to be able to cry when you would expect to be doing so. For me (and it was last year now) it was like I had shed so many tears during my hubby's illness I was totally drained and seemed to be on a kind of autopilot as I faced each new day.  You honestly do not need to be crying as grief is just as emotional when you are dry eyed but I suspect there will come a point when  something will trigger your mind and you will shed tears or even smile at a memory.  Just now you are raw and numb with loss. Look after yourself and come and chat whenever  you need to.  Sometimes it just helps to talk through feelings. Jules54 

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    Hi,

    My Mum died of cancer under similar circumstances and my emotional reaction was very similar to yours.
    With hindsight, part of it was relief that her suffering had finally come to an end. 

    Give yourself time, we all grieve differently and the same people react differently even just a few months later. There's no right or wrong way to get through this. Time doesn't always heal, but things do get easier after a while. 

    Best wishes
    Dave  

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